5 totally-crazy electoral maps that I made for clicks online

Inspired by Chris Cillizza’s ‘5 not-totally-crazy electoral maps that show Donald Trump winning’, I made up 5 totally-crazy electoral maps that show a number of things that probably won’t happen. His piece is bad for a number of reasons (Minnesota was closer than both Wisconsin and Michigan in the 2012 election, for instance), but I’ll skip most of that and get right to the bad maps.

1. Trump sweeps Middle America — and loses.

Trump has shown immense strength in Normal American Towns and is a hero to the white working class. That’s why it makes sense that Trump would win every non-coastal state. But unfortunately for him, that would mean Texas, formerly a Republican stronghold, would flip to Clinton. But that makes sense because Clinton won the primary here and Trump didn’t. Yeah, sure, we’ll go with that.

2. Clinton wins every state but loses California

I’ll be the first to admit, this isn’t a likely scenario. But Donald Trump is strong in California polls and Clinton is locked in a toss-up with Bernie Sanders. Do I think this will happen? No, but I’m glad you’re reading my article.

3. Clinton wins Utah like that one poll said — but still loses.

There was a poll that had Clinton beating Trump 38–36 in Utah. So for this map, let’s throw out all other polls and go with this — a scenario where Clinton wins Utah and loses the election. That will surely be an interesting item on my list.

4. Arkansas votes for Clinton, but she loses

If there’s one thing people like, it’s goofy scenarios that don’t make any sense. Arkansas went for Romney by over 20 points in 2012, but maybe Clinton wins this year because she spent some time there? Hey, she did win the state’s primary! And also Trump wins Oregon for some reason (Obama only won it by 12, after all — barely more than Michigan) and Clinton sweeps the Midwest minus Pennsylvania. Trump also wins Colorado and Virginia, despite losing the industrial Midwest. Why? Don’t ask me, I’m writing a listicle.

5. An actual map of what will probably happen.

So all those maps won’t happen for obvious reasons, but here’s the likely map if the election were held today. It’s basically the same as Obama/Romney’s map except Hillary Clinton takes North Carolina — a highly educated state that has been trending Democratic for years. Further opportunities for Clinton could include Georgia and Arizona, two increasingly educated and non-white states, but they both went easily for Romney in 2012.

Trump could win, of course. His path to victory would certainly include Florida and Ohio — the two closest states in the 2012 election. But contra The Fix, Trump doesn’t have a chance at Michigan (Obama won 54–44 here). And Pennsylvania would flip before Wisconsin (Obama won by 5 in PA — boosted by absolutely huge turnout in Philadelphia — and by 7 in WI).