Are You a Failure?

Be prepared each day to confront your own self-sabotage.
I couldn’t sleep last night because my brain decided it was the perfect time to go over everything that’s wrong with me and all the reasons that I’m going to fail in life, it’s just sweet like that..
So instead of doing that, I wrote this. And I really wanted to talk about self-sabotage too. You know, that thing we do to ourselves a lot. Why does our mind work against us? Why you might want the abs but get the kebabs. Why we tend to burn our long term goals for short term satisfaction, then consume ourselves with guilt and fall off track altogether, losing the momentum…
See it’s always really great to come on here and talk all about your wins and successes but nobody seems to really want to talk about failure. And yeah I get it, failure is embarrassing, it’s often humiliating and kind of devastating. Why would you want to share that sinking feeling in your stomach with the rest of the world? But it happens to everyone.
You don’t need an NLP or a psychology degree, or to be Oprah to know that as humans we seek pleasure and avoid pain because well, that’s what we do all the time if we’re not careful. We know we should kick it at the gym but your brain says ‘ I’m just too tired today’, we know we should pick up the phone and call a friend we used to love but lost touch over the years but your brain says ‘I’m sure they’re fine, I’ll call them tomorrow… or over the weekend. I’m sure they’re busy’. ‘ I should speak up in this meeting to share my idea, but does anyone really care, what if I’ll just look stupid… ‘ We don’t like change and we don’t like to be uncomfortable. Before you know it, everything that will contribute to our personal, long term goals can become a ‘someday’ job. The only problem is ‘someday’ is not on the calendar.
Failure should inspire just as much as a success story does; unfortunately, a lot of the time social media makes us compare ourselves with other people, believe that someone else is perfect and that we have to be perfect or at least strive to look it to be accepted and respected. We don’t. I have so much respect for people who have failed yet got up and kept going even when they knew the world would criticize and laugh.If you fail you’re still taking away something valuable each time in comparison to someone who sits on their peach and laughs at what others are doing, whilst doing nothing. That’s just the easiest thing to do in the whole world.
With failing, you collect valuable experience and practical insight; and an empty cup can never knock down a full one. Johannes Haushofer, a Princeton University professor has published his CV of Failures to show the world that failing is just a natural part of any person’s life. If you’re starting anything new, you’re going to suck at it, and you’re going to keep sucking at it until you suck at it enough times to get good.If you do fail that means you’re trying. And if you’re trying you are moving. You’re not sat there doing nothing. You’re moving, taking risks, you’re bound to get there sooner or later.
The inner conversation you have about what are my friends are going to say… what are my family going to say? But if you have that gut feeling, that goal in you, you try things to achieve it. And if you flop and your friends laugh at you, do you need a new goal or do you need new friends?
What if Florence Nightingale said- maybe someone else will go to Crimean war and nurse all those soldiers.. my friends will laugh at my bonnet, my lantern and my sanitation ideas.What if in 3500 B.C the absolute legend who came up with the wheel never went ahead with his idea because he was scared his peers would think he’s crazy?If Mark Zuckerberg never went ahead with Facebook because his three Harvard friends quit it? What if Beyoncé never went solo?
Our brain is designed to protect us and keep us alive so it tends to cling to the negative because that indicates danger so just think; if you got a hundred compliments but one bad, negative comment what do you tend to focus on that day? The negative. Our brain loooves the negativity bias. Constructive and non-constructive criticism is always going to be there. Pushing forward with confidence means being scared and doing it anyway, it’s not magically not caring what everyone thinks or if they don’t like what you’re doing. It’s being OK and not self-destructing if they don’t. Experiences are just practical information and information changes situation. All the time. It’s OK not to be everyone’s cup of tea and you can’t, but you have to be your own shot of espresso. You just have to. If you get an idea that lights you up DO IT. When you get that gut feeling and your stomach jumps up when you think about it DO IT. Only you really know.
So, it’s a new day and it’s time to stop having that inner conversation of potential scenarios of what could go wrong and hold myself fully accountable for moving forward. Wake up every morning, brush my teeth, get dressed, high five my cat, walk out that front door and give the world the finger. Live. So why should you be a failure? Because it’s ok to fail, because anyone who ever achieved anything worthwhile had failed first. Because you don’t decide ‘no’ for yourself before you even try. And that’s pretty awesome.
Marketing, Human Communications and Social Media. Content Penwoman. Education, Innovation & Self Development Enthusiast
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Originally published at https://www.linkedin.com on July 10, 2017.