The Habits Confident Individuals Leave Behind

Kepler's Team
5 min readDec 27, 2023

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By Iryna Smuk

Key Takeaways:

  • Steering clear of some detrimental things enables us to nurture and maintain robust self-assurance, propelling us toward greater levels of success and fulfillment.
  • Constantly seeking reassurance from others may lead to a dependency on external validation, reinforce feelings of anxiety, and contribute to lower self-esteem.
  • Persistent negative self-talk can have detrimental effects on mental health, exacerbating conditions like anxiety and depression.
  • Confident individuals abandon the pursuit of perfection. They understand that perfection is an unattainable standard that may impede progress while fostering burnout or diminished self-worth.
  • Dependence on luck brings uncertainty into your life, making it difficult to plan and set realistic expectations.
  • If we never go out of our comfort zone, we limit ourselves, hinder our ability to adapt to change, and even stunt the acquisition of new skills.

Confidence holds significant sway over various facets of our lives, shaping everything from our connections to our achievements in the professional realm. However, confidence is not only about what we do but also about what we avoid doing. Steering clear of some detrimental things enables us to nurture and maintain robust self-assurance, propelling us toward greater levels of success and fulfillment.

So, let’s explore the habits that confident individuals leave behind on their path to self-assurance:

Asking for reassurance

The inclination to seek reassurance is a natural aspect of human behavior, and its implications are not universally negative. Nevertheless, excessive reliance on seeking reassurance can have some drawbacks. Constantly asking for reassurance from others may lead to a dependency on external validation, reinforce feelings of anxiety, and contribute to lower self-esteem.

If you frequently find yourself engaging in the act of seeking reassurance and desire to diminish or eliminate this pattern of behavior, several strategies can be employed:

  • Focus on building your self-confidence by acknowledging your strengths and achievements. It is essential to celebrate even the smallest achievements.
  • Set specific limits on seeking reassurance. For instance, consider limiting requests for validation to once per situation while actively working toward managing any ensuing anxiety independently.
  • Gradually expose yourself to situations that trigger the need for reassurance. This can help desensitize you over time while concurrently building resilience toward uncertainties.

Negative Self-Talk

Persistent negative self-talk is characterized by an inner voice constantly criticizing and filling your mind with doubts. This type of internal dialogue can have detrimental effects on mental health, exacerbating conditions like anxiety and depression. Moreover, it creates a hindrance to achieving personal goals.

To effectively manage and ultimately eradicate negative self-talk, several strategies can be employed:

  • Actively challenge negative thoughts by questioning their validity.
  • Instead of dwelling on pessimistic thoughts, consciously replace them with positive affirmations or constructive statements about yourself and your abilities.
  • Avoid comparing yourself to others. Recognize that everyone has their unique strengths and weaknesses. Focus on your journey and progress.
  • Seek support from friends, family members, or mental health professionals who may provide valuable insights into overcoming negative self-talk through their outside perspective as well as offer emotional support during difficult times.

Perfectionism

In our lives, perfectionism often disguises itself as a virtue but can become an adversary. Confident individuals abandon the pursuit of perfection. They understand that perfection is an unattainable standard that may impede progress while fostering burnout or diminished self-worth.

To effectively manage and gradually diminish tendencies toward perfectionism, it is beneficial to employ various strategies:

  • Reframe mistakes as valuable opportunities for learning and personal growth, instead of viewing them as failures that diminish your worth. Recognize that making errors is a natural aspect of the learning process.
  • Develop the skill of establishing realistic boundaries to avoid overcommitting yourself unnecessarily. Perfectionists commonly take on excessive responsibilities, which inevitably leads to heightened stress levels and increases the probability of falling short.
  • Prioritize both your physical and mental well-being by devoting time to activities that bring you joy and relaxation.

Related: Reimagining Self-Care: A Guide to Overcoming Challenges and Finding True Balance

Relying on luck

Confident individuals understand that success isn’t a lucky draw, but a meticulously crafted masterpiece. Relying on luck implies a lack of control over your outcomes. Luck is inherently unpredictable and uncontrollable. Dependence on luck brings uncertainty into your life, making it difficult to plan and set realistic expectations.

If you find yourself relying too much on luck, here are some steps you can take:

  • Define specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-bound (SMART) goals. Having clear objectives will provide guidance and a sense of purpose.
  • Continuously invest in your personal and professional development.
  • Acknowledge and take responsibility for your actions and decisions. Recognize that you have control over your choices and their consequences.
  • Positive visualization can enhance your motivation and belief in your ability to succeed through your efforts.

Staying in the Comfort Zone

The comfort zone is like a warm, inviting embrace, a place where everything is familiar and predictable. However, growth often comes from seizing opportunities outside your comfort zone. If we never exit this bubble, we limit ourselves, hinder our ability to adapt to change, and even stunt the acquisition of new skills. Creativity and innovation thrive in environments that encourage exploration and experimentation.

If you want to know some strategies to help you break free from the comfort zone, here are a few:

  • Gradually expose yourself to situations that feel slightly uncomfortable, and then gradually increase the challenge level as you become more accustomed to stepping outside your comfort zone.
  • Growth and discomfort are inextricably linked, so know that the latter is a natural byproduct of the former.
  • Use your progress outside your comfort zone as motivation to keep expanding those boundaries. Recognize and appreciate that progress when it happens.
  • Without judgment, permit yourself to explore with a curious mindset. This approach can result in more satisfying and enriching experiences.

Hence, developing confidence is an ongoing and dynamic journey that requires embracing positive habits while also shedding detrimental ones. By ditching self-sabotaging habits, you make room for growth, unleashing your empowered self.

What habits have you personally overcome or embraced on your journey to building confidence? Please, tell us in the comments.

By the way, you may be interested in our article where we talk about the essential leadership skills you need to develop.

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Kepler's Team

We know that behind every big dream is a dreamer. We believe everyone should follow their dreams and have those dreams come true.