The Difference Between Giving Up and Letting Go
When you’re a kid, you hear things like, “Winners never quit and quitters never win” (Vince Lombardi). Then suddenly as an adult you start to think that any time you stop doing something, you’re a loser, but here’s why I think we need to talk about this.
Quitting and letting go are both things we do to stop something permanently, but quitting is about stopping something because it’s hard and you don’t want to put in the work even though it’s generally something you really want. Sometimes people quit trying to lose weight, because dieting is really hard. When the day to day is hard and the results aren’t fast enough or the fun is gone, many will stop. They’ll feel guilty about it, be frustrated and likely get in a cycle where they repeat the pattern of doing and stopping.
When someone quits it’s generally highly emotional and filled with frustration or anger that something isn’t going as well as they thought. Usually someone will quit before giving it their all. They lose sight of the big picture and lose the determination to get what they truly want.
Letting go has a lot of similarities to quitting, but one big difference. Letting go no longer has an emotional attachment. In fact, I would argue that letting go is a very meditative, calming thing. It’s a moment where you realize this person, thing or situation isn’t serving you anymore, it’s not something you want anymore, and it no longer causes you stress. It’s a feeling and action of peace, of freedom. There are no regrets because either you’ve tried everything you could and/or you realize, your soul no longer needs this person or experience.
Quitting to me is a bright red faced, loud, screaming toddler while letting go is an old woman with long white hair sitting in a peaceful green garden smiling.
So the question becomes how do you recognize the difference for yourself in the moment. And here’s the only question you need to answer to know the difference — Why am I doing this?
When you can really clarify why you’re doing something, why you’re doing it for you, not anyone else, it will either make you realize you need to keep working hard to get what you want and you’re feeling a little moment of wanting to quit or it will make you realize there is no reason why. When you can’t clarify why you’re doing something, it means it’s time to let it go.
Sometimes there are feelings of guilt, because letting go, means it may effect someone else, it may make them feel sad for a moment, but that is not a why. A why always has to be for YOU. And the moment you decide you need to let something go, you will suddenly feel a sense of freedom and calmness you never realized your soul was desperately craving.
So, where are you quitting in life and need to refocus and where are you needing to let go and live in peace?
