I think you said it all there Christina. If you refuse to make time for your friend you’re making a choice. Could your writing not have waited? Did it have to be done that weekend? I feel life is just so short and to cut yourself off from spending time with someone you obviously love was not in your best interests. Especially as you suffer from anxiety and depression and she was the one who understood it all. Sure your friend told you she was busy for the next few weekends, but why didn’t you (both) make arrangements for as soon as you were both free? We’re all busy but it’s so important to make time for each other.
I know I need my best friend. I’m 47 and we have known each other for 35 years. There was a hiatus in the middle of the friendship when my interfering ex-husband caused a rift between us. Every day I missed her. How happy we were to both be back in each other’s lives when the husband exited my life. The best thing about it is that we picked up from where we left off. Our friendship was more important than the reasons why it had happened. I love this woman as much as I do my daughters, parents and siblings. I would be devastated to not have her in my life any more and know she feels the same. We call, text and see each other often. Sometimes all we can manage is half an hour together, but it is so worth it.
Your husband is your best friend too, but he’s a different kind of best friend. I think it’s important to have both, as well as other good friends and acquaintances. We need love and support from each other and it comes in all guises. You need to make time for people, especially those who love you and whom you love.
I don’t know whether you can get things back to the way they were but I think it’s important for you to try. From your reading I think you want to. I’m sure your friend does too. So what, she has a new “best friend”? She’s only spending time with someone who’s made time for her. The years of your friendship will not be lost, but you need to make a move and get back in touch again. She sounds like a great friend and you do too. It’s too much to just throw away and it’s really not worth it. I think you’ll always regret it if you don’t try.