I Sold My Soul to Amazon Prime

And now I want it back! A journey from consumerism to minimalism.

I used to pride myself in knowing the only shopping I truly enjoyed was for produce. That pristine image changed the day I enrolled for Amazon Prime. “This is great,” I thought. “No more malls!”

Little did I know the contract I signed was a Faustian bargain.

It’s started small. Some eye cream with a book. A few hard to find chocolate molds. I felt appreciative, grateful even, to have such convenience at my fingers tips. Then boxes started arriving by their own accord.

One day Amazon changed their page. Instead of quietly recommending purchases, the page was broken into Brady Bunch boxes of my purchase history. My mind spun over the amount of stuff I had bought. There was the double pack of scissors (Why buy one when you can have four?), six pairs of footies (I gave to my niece), and countless books (I resold at a fraction of their price and checked out from the library).

Denial is More Than a River in Egypt

Staring at the screen, my denial crumbled. There, challenging the very essence of my identity, was the glaring truth of what I was doing.

Compulsive consumerism is one of many ways to fill a void where meaning, joy, and connection belong. When we buy something, our longing (boredom, desire, etc.) is lulled. But it’s an illusion. Once it returns, we need more and the cycle continues.

It was at that moment I began to visualize another screen. This one displayed boxed images of my experiences: reading to my son, planting spring bulbs in the garden, and laughing with a friend over lunch.

I knew what I had to do.

It’s easy to get trapped in the cycle of stuff. George Carlin had a genius skit on “stuff” that poked fun at the ridiculous lengths we go to secure it. Watching it reminded me of the finite amount of time and energy we are given to spend in life. I’ll be damned if I go out wishing I had more stuff than memories.

Do I love it?

Ironically, I’m a minimalist. First by necessity, then by design. The question “Do I love it?” is the gold standard, as declared by Marie Kondo. This question alone will help you get rid of unwanted items and keep your ego in check from purchasing unnecessary stuff. Adopting a minimalist mindset puts us in control of our stuff. But in order to do so, we must change our relationship to our belongings.

Do I need it?

Ah, there’s the rub. What do we really need? This one forces us to be exceedingly honest with ourselves. By minimalism creates space. Not only space to see what’s in the garage, but space in our mind and soul to think, dream, play, create, and grow. As an experiment, consider what you need. If you’re drawn to making a purchase, sit with the impulse before buying and see if there is something underneath the desire that needs your attention instead.

Do I use it?

While the minimalist lifestyle is not just about function and practicality, these two qualities are heavy hitters when it comes to evaluating our need for stuff. The accumulation of crap has become something of a national pastime. This question can help rid your kitchen of redundancy in one swoop. Do yourself a favor and jump off the crazy train. If you don’t use it, lose it.

Kerry Ogden, MA, LPC is a psychotherapist in private practice. She lives in sunny Portland, Oregon with her husband, son and two cats. One of which thinks it’s a dog.

Variation of this article first appeared in NoSide Bar, April 29, 2016