Acceptance is The Key to Happiness & Why Trying to Be Happy is Pointless
Happiness can be bought with a bottle of wine and by doing things you enjoy. You don’t have to tyrannize yourself to be happy. Actually, the more you try to be happy, the more unhappy you become. Trying doesn’t work. We’ve all been there, forcing ourselves to smile and repressing negative feelings or random thoughts. You eventually end up being more sad and drained by your effort to get rid of what you’re feeling in the moment. You become tired by trying and faking; while forgetting to just sit with it and let it dissipate by itself.
It’s pointless to punish yourself by wrapping up your happiness to achievement or anything external that’s always temporary and changing. We feel happy for a moment when we achieve but that high dissipates soon enough. Consequently, the shine and glamour ends when the thrill dissipates. The thrill always ends because it’s temporary once you have acquired something. Now you need something else to look up to. This chase is endless, and don’t get me wrong, it’s the best thing when you’re using it to grow and move forward. But all I’m saying — don’t be surprised when this happens and of what you feel. Don’t let it startle you.
You can be happy right now. Your happiness is a matter of perspective. Large part of it also depends on how you talk to yourself. Your thought patterns determine your reality.
But…the idea of constant happiness and positive thinking is exactly what causes more unhappiness. When you’re unhappy, you think there’s something wrong with you. Soon enough, you spiral downwards as it leads to an exhausting cycle. But in reality you’re just going through different emotions.
You have other emotions that you will experience at different times. We’ve been bought and sold on the narrative that happiness is the most important thing. It isn’t.
Sometimes you’re going to be sad, excited, or scared — whatever. Whatever you feel is essentially the chemicals in your body reacting to the environment and momentary stimuli.
Emotions are normal, they’re just like the weather. Let them pass by. They are signals and feedback for thinking and behavior. Rather than suppressing what you feel, notice what it is hinting at. Is it the way you are thinking? Is it your focus? Remember: your focus equals your experience.
The belief that people have to be happy all the time leads to the thought that there’s something wrong with them when they’re not happy. It makes some moments unbearable as you try to feel happy when you feel sad or some other emotion. The constant faking and pretending becomes draining and eventually leads to depression, because you’ve subscribed to the idea that there’s nothing more important than happiness.
The Importance of Acceptance
What you need is acceptance. There’s freedom and happiness to be found in accepting however you feel at any moment. You thrive and move forward the moment you wholeheartedly accept the way you are.
To accept yourself means to not deny or suppress what you’re feeling but you acknowledge it. You are aware of it rather than tyrannizing and treating yourself harshly because you’re going through negative or unpleasant emotions.
You will sort yourself out when you accept yourself as you are. No matter how harsh your reality may be, you must acknowledge it and see for what it is.
There’s no one moment you’ll have to accept yourself, it’s everyday and every time you try to tell yourself a different story rather than seeing yourself as you are. It’s every time when your ego is in control. This is a pursuit and exercise in listening to your intuition.
Real growth happens when you accept your own shit, face the negative stories you’ve been telling yourself and stop judging yourself. Now you can see yourself clearly, as you are, and not as you want your life to be.
In order to create the life you want; you first must accept what and where you are right now shamelessly. Acknowledge what you don’t want to hear about yourself.