How Do You Know When You Can Marry that person?

Today one of my friends, in obvious state of complete lost on the topic, asked when do we know we can marry that person. This question struck a chord with me and I could not find a good answer for her immediately. Inside, I also knew that what she was really asking is what is the function of marriage, because if she knew the answer to that, it is only a matter of answering whether that person is up to affirming that answer. So this question turned out to be quite deep and is worthwhile digging into. Hopefully an answer form this article may help at least couple readers on here.

This year 2021, my dad was diagnosed with Covid-19. He was not really experiencing any of the typical symptoms so this completely caught us off guard. He was complaining about his chest feeling funny, as if after a heavy workout. “Sour” was the word he chose. We all initially did not think much of it, since feeling something is off any day is normal, always turned out to be nothing, and goes away sooner or later. However, that morning he decided to get it checked out since it has not gotten away for more than a day, a wise observation and decision. Nothing that feels off for more than 24 hours should be ignored. We went to a clinic nearby and is a go-to for us. I accompanied my dad, because I was the only one around the house at the time. When we talked to the doctor, he did not appear to think anything is really off too. Honestly what can a doctor diagnose based on a “sour” chest? However he did order an EEG and chest x-ray just to be sure. It turned out my dad was experiencing a heart attack, for more than a day while still being able to live life as normally as ever. The clinic doctor immediately advised us to go to a hospital and I called my mom and brother soon after.

Because of Covid, only one person, my mom, could go into the emergency room with him. My brother and I waited for maybe 3 hours outside in the car. It was one of the longest 3 hours of my life since we just did not know anything happening. When my mom came back we can immediately felt something was off. She told us that both the mandatory Covid test and PCR came back positive with a CT value of 36. It sounded alarming, but the good news was that 36 was actually a pretty good number, it meant that he was barely transmitting and well on the end of the Covid infection. However, he needed to stay in the quarantine room for 10 days upon a confirmed recovery and a negative PCR test.

He recovered fine. He had stents for the collapsed vein from the heart attack that was mostly likely caused by Covid. The three of us are also fine and none had a positive test result. All of this is relevant to my friend’s question of when do you know whether you can marry that person. The simple and quick answer is that when you can see yourself going through the worst stages of your life together. Your family is the only one who would voluntarily and eagerly be on the bedside with you or at least stare at the phone constantly for any update. Your wife or husband may very well be the last person that you could be allowed to see and talk to at these peril moments. When he was in the hospital, dad was calling mom multiple times a day; this was exceptional since my mom absolutely hated talking on the phone. So if you cannot see that person being able to take that responsibility then I would definitely advice you to revaluate before any rash decision.

For me personally, my moment was when I was experiencing a panic attack that was beyond my ability to contain. My girlfriend did not really know how to drive, but when I woke her up at 4am in the morning to drive me to the hospital, she was awake immediately and drove me there as fast as she could. It is then I knew that for the rest of my life, if I were to die from a panic attack in the middle of the night, she would be the one next to me trying to do something about it. No longer would I be left alone in my room attempting to make it out alive in dark of the night. Never again do I have to fear that if I were to die today, the only way people would know about it is when my corpse has rotten so much that my neighbors can no longer contain the smell.

So why is that you should marry someone? It is because there is no good substitute for good family. To say it is a “function” of family is almost disgracing the weight of that importance. Families are the only ones who will cheer all of your good news, the ones who will tolerate your shenanigans, and the ones who will be there at however the worst there is. Some may argue that friends complemented by others can largely function the same. I would agree too, but also say that family is still far above many levels. There is no way anyone else would do as much as family would; this I can confidently say.

Hopefully this helped some people. There are different arguments for marrying, but I figured this is good enough for today. I hope everyone find that one special person and become that meaningful to someone else. Let me know what you think, I am fresh new on this platform.

Just a guy who like to reflect on questions.

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