Going Deeper with Gratitude and Compassion — A Come From Away Story
(NEW YORK, NY) Two years ago today, I walked on a Broadway stage and took a bow in front of a cheering audience, all giving a standing ovation for the opening night of Come From Away at the Schoenfeld Theater on Broadway.
It was remarkable, puzzling and emotional all at once. Remarkable because I didn’t actually perform. The 12 actors and band did, delivered an amazing performance with a moving, rousing score and chair-spinning choreography.
It was puzzling to receive such an ovation or take a bow, because the true heroes of this story are the Newfoundlanders. They gave selflessly on September 11th, giving food, clothing, shelter and information to 7,000 refugees like me from more than 90 countries when our flight and 37 others were forced to land in Gander.
The emotional part of that curtain call was this was the first time Kevin Jung and I had seen each other since we ended our relationship eight years prior. In the musical, the gay couple Kevin T. and Kevin J. broke up because of 9/11. That’s fine for storytelling purposes, but the reality is we spent many years together after our time in Gander, but parted ways in 2010. After that, we didn’t speak to each other. It was too difficult to just be friends.
It helped reduce anxiety that while on stage in the lineup, Gander Constable Oz Fudge and actor Geno Carr were positioned in-between actor Chad Kimball (Kevin T) and me and Caesar Samayoa (Kevin J) and Kevin Jung. After all 23 actors and real characters took a final bow, we walked off stage and crowded in the side stage area. It was time to thaw the ice which had developed between Kevin and me since we split. Backstage, we hugged briefly and I joked to Kevin, “You finally made it on a Broadway stage, for a standing ovation even!”
Back in the late 1990s, my work brought me to New York at least one per year. Each time, I brought Kevin along especially so we could go see a Broadway show or two. Among our favorites were Side Show, Titantic, Kiss Me Kate and Grey Gardens. The real Kevin J is very talented musically, and he really should have tried a stint at being an actor in a Broadway musical. In fact, Kevin convinced me to join him in Austin Singers, a civic chorus, in the year 2000. Lanier Bayliss, the chorus director, let me join more for my ability to raise money for the group than my tenor singing skills.
In early 2001, we sang “Lord, Make Me An Instrument of Thy Peace,” (the prayer of St. Francis) by composer John Rutter, at one of our public concerts. It is truly one of the most beautiful songs I’ve ever heard. The director recorded the concert and provided a CD to each of the members.
If you see Come From Away, you won’t know that Kevin and I were forced to return to Paris from Gander after US airspace was re-opened. This is one reason, I decided to write a memoir, “Channel of Peace: Stranded in Gander on 9/11.” Read an excerpt of the book, from the chapter, “ When your 9/11 Experience Becomes a Broadway Musical.” It was during this anxious time in France that the Prayer of St. Francis entered into my consciousness. After we landed at Charles de Gaulle airport, the airline told housed us in a crowded, fleabag 2-star hotel that ran out of food. We truly should have stayed with the compassionate people in Gander. I decided to venture into downtown Paris where I happened upon a memorial Mass being held for Americans killed in the terror attacks, at famous Notre Dame cathedral. I don’t speak French, but I fully understood the French people were mourning with, and praying for all those killed in this horrific terrorist attack. When I left the church, I remember humming my favorite choral piece in my head.
Months after the attack, I kept thinking about the profound love Kevin and I experienced from Ganderites, and how it contrast with the horror experienced by thousands in New York City, Washington, DC and Shanksville, Pennsylvania. For some reason, in 2002, I developed this slide show (video below)with images of 9/11 and used the recording of Kevin and I singing this song with Austin Singers as the audio track. #NeverForget
Every now and then, I’ll receive a gracious “thank you” from a Come From Away audience member for sharing my story with the writers. Once I received a Tweet from a stranger saying, “Thank God Kevin had that song going through his head.” It turns out “Prayer” in Come From Away is a favorite song in the musical for some people. It starts out with the Christian-Catholic song and then morphs into Jewish, Hindu and Islam interfaith prayers for peace.
Indeed, I had a daydream about the song in the days after 9/11, and shared this with musical writers David Hein and Irene Sankoff (which I still don’t recall ever doing so!), but the gratitude goes far beyond me: Thanks to Kevin Jung for giving me the courage to join that choir (my first time ever), and to his friend Janet Taborn for encouraging him to join. Thanks should also go to director Lanier Bayliss for choosing that song for the choir to sing, and to South African born Sebastian Temple (1928–1997) for writing the popular version, “Make me a Chanel of Your Peace” in 1967, which is used in the musical. Each of them are contributors to these inspirational words being sung in this successful musical.
My favorite line of the prayer is, “For it is in giving that we receive.” Ganderites often say, “All we did was make a tray of sandwiches.” Making a tray of sandwiches is indeed an act of kindness to strangers. And if Mayor Claude Elliott wanted to act with only kindness and empathy toward the 7,000 people suffering for 28 hours on the 38 planes on the tarmac, sending thoughts and prayers, plus water and sandwiches. It would indeed be appreciated.
When locals opened up their homes to let people from more than 90 countries to sleep in their homes and take showers, when they donated food, clothes and bedding to those of us who had nothing, that’s called compassion. The (often misused) definition of compassion is to engage in the suffering of others.
Neuroscience reveals the compassionate action actually stimulates the part of the brain where joy and happiness live. This is the same feeling my staff had when they performed random acts of kindness each year during Pay it Forward 9/11 thousands of miles away in Austin, Texas.
One reason I believe Come From Away has been so successful across four countries (soon five)is precisely because our world is so perilously divided. Many have lost interest in being compassionate for anyone but those who are part of their own “in-group.” We might drop everything and help a person suffering who works in our own division at the office, or someone in our neighborhood, or our church. But would you help a stranger who is homeless, or one who has a different race, religion, income level, country of origin, sexual orientation, or political party?
Would you open your home to a busload full of migrants who need a shower? They would in Gander.
I invite you to join me in affirming the Charter for Compassion, and to work with the group to engage communities and individuals to inspire more compassionate action. Watch the video below, then consider adding your name here: https://charterforcompassion.org/affirm-and-share-the-charter-for-compassion
A final note of gratitude on this second anniversary of Come From Away. I’m honored and grateful to so many people who continue to tell this story, including: Michael Rubinoff for his vision, Irene Sankoff and David Hein for investing so much time and energy into writing the musical, and choosing Kevin J and me to be part of it. Even more: thanks to Junkyard Dog Productions (Marlene and Kenny Alhadeff, Sue Frost and Randy Adams), the investors, producers, actors (I’m admittedly partial to Chad Kimball, Jack Noseworthy, Jeff Madden, Andrew Samonsky and David Shannon who all play Kevin T), the standbys, musicians, choreographers, stage managers, electricians, sound engineers, lighting technicians, ushers and ticket takers, makeup artists, costumers, hair stylists, sales staff, marketing and advertising staff, security, merchandisers and publicists. I’m sure I forgot people, but you see what an enormous undertaking this is. I’m grateful to be along for the ride.
And I’m grateful to Kevin Jung for being my friend once again. Mutual forgiveness is also an important part of compassion. #ItTakesaMusical
Kevin Tuerff is a social entrepreneur, author and public speaker. To inquire about public speaking, visit here.Toronto-based House of Anansi Press published Channel of Peace: Stranded in Gander on 9/11. Join the annual Pay it Forward 9/11. Founded in 2002, it grows each year thanks to the musical’s producers and fans of Channel of Peace. Kevin is also an ambassador for the Charter for Compassion. Working with his Catholic church, Kevin supports refugees through direct help to a man recently granted asylum to America. Learn more at Sam’s Freedom Fund.
