A Recap of Game Of Thrones By Someone Who Doesn’t 100% Understand Game Of Thrones: Season 6 Episode 7

Before we dive into the recap to episode seven, entitled “The Broken Man”, please check out my recaps for episode one, two, three, four, five, and six if you haven’t done so already! Now on to this week’s episode…

This Sunday’s episode of Game of Thrones starts with a cold open, which is (I believe) the first time they have done so on the show. Usually after the “Previously On” segment, I spend the next 90 seconds or so getting hyped as fuck listening to the opening credits and watching the kingdoms rise from the map. It’s a Sunday tradition, but this week threw me for a loop. We get an odd scene of people building some large structure made out of wood and then Ian McShane comes out of nowhere and I thought “wait, did someone at HBO accidentally run a Deadwood re-run instead of the Thrones episode?” But no, one of the men there turned out to be THE HOUND alive and well and I guess this is Game of Thrones after all. The Hound is alive, as he was found by this Septon dude (McShane) and now lives in this community of people who follow the Septon which seems very cultish but also seems kind of chill so maybe not.

I have to admit that in my previous recap I talked a bit about how Margaery was all about the High Sparrow and but some of my dear readers brought up to me that I was missing a little bit of the clues (if you’ve read a full six of these recaps already, it shouldn’t come as any surprise). This week, it’s more obvious that this is all just a ploy by Margaery as she sneaks a little bit of paper to her grandmother letting her know that she is not broken but it is part of a larger scheme. Also it is very clear that she does NOT want to have sex with Tommen.

Cersei meets up with the grandmother after this exchange and lets the grandmother know that she wants to team up the Lannisters and Tyrells together. The grandmother says some stuff about how Cersei is “the worst person [she] ever met.” It’s great, and I hope that one day someone will say that to me, about me. It’s almost an honor. Weird life goals, I guess. Anyway, it seems like Cersei is oblivious to the Tyrell scheming and at this point it seems like Tommen is too since he’s a pretty big doofus.

Jon, Sansa, and Davos are headed all over trying to recruit houses to their side to make their army stronger for the inevitable battle against Ramsey. They first go to Bear Island and talk to the leader of the house there, a 10 year old girl who is Lyanna Mormont? Overall, she’s great; very big fan of this girl. Turns out Bear Island doesn’t have much of an army and she can only spare 62 men (when most of these armies are in the tens of thousands of men), but Davos tells her that that’ll be good enough to please the girl. [I’m still not over when Stannis lit his daughter on fire, by the way. Unrelated, but definitely related when it comes to Davos and little girls (in the most non-pedophilic way possible).]

In other news, BRONN IS BACK. He might be my favorite secondary character not named Pod so I was excited to see he’s still his usual self talking about his penis and everything. Him and Jaime lead a crew to Black Fish to try and get them to surrender their castle. The main dude there says “no dice, bro” and says he’d rather die in the castle than surrender. He then says his men have two years’ worth of food in the castle and asked if Jaime had two years to just wait outside the castle and hope they surrender.

In other OTHER news, Theon is very uncomfortable at brothels. Theon and his sister’s grand plan is to sail to Meereen and team up with Daenerys which will probably not work out too well for them since she is not there, but carry on. Also Theon is not too big on drinking either, like at all. If you’re gonna be all awkward at a brothel, at least get a good buzz going.

We then get an update on Arya’s life. This storyline has been a source of frustration for me but it seems like things may pick up now that she is trying to get away from the Many Faced God. She tries to leave the island (so much so that she very sassily throws coins at the dude in charge of booking the rides), and is just hanging out on a small bridge when an innocuous old woman comes up behind her. The woman turns out to be anything but innocuous and stabs Arya in the gut and uh-oh she takes her face off to reveal that she has another face. Oh no. She’s the woman who used to beat Arya with a stick, and stabbing someone repeatedly is a bit of an escalation from that. Arya is bleeding profusely from her intestines and walks down the street and no one really seems fazed by it. One woman even looks at her annoyed like, “ugh, can you not?” Arya is definitely not dead but she will be spending the next 7 days leaving a trail of blood down the street until the next episode.

Near the end of the episode, we head back to the Hound and find out that men arrive to the community on horseback and threaten everyone there. The Septon tries to bring peace but also refuses to give them food which is mistake number one, apparently. The men come back and slaughter everyone (including hanging the Septon; R.I.P. Al Swearengen) so the Hound decides to put matters into his own hands (since everyone else is dead). He grabs the closest hatchet and runs off. The Hound is back and he’s angry and wants to kill people and all is right with the world. End of episode.

Hope you enjoyed the recap! If you liked it, feel free to recommend this post (by clicking the little heart button) so other people can see it!

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