My girlfriend the sociopath

Kevin Donnellon
15 min readDec 11, 2021
photo credit: Random House

I’m screaming at the top of my voice “Stop! Fucking stop Paula! Stop! Please stop!”. Since I don’t have any arms to defend myself I do the one thing I’ve never done before in my whole life. It is the nuclear option. I spit in her face. It worked.

Words like sociopath and psychopath are often overused these days. They are quite unpleasant labels and should only be applied to really unpleasant people, so believe me I don’t use that word lightly, but in her case I think it’s highly appropriate.

Paula wasn’t always a monster, we had many good times and in the early days of our relationship we got on brilliantly. Aged twenty, Paula was four years younger than me when we met at work, where I was a welfare rights officer with social services. Paula was the office typist, she was friendly and I found her quite cute. Paula was also very inexperienced and innocent ~ I didn’t know it when we first got together, but I was her very first boyfriend.

She had one request. For now, we should keep our relationship secret — especially at work. I went along with this, but inwardly I worried whether she was ashamed of me.

Paula said she was a Christian and was ‘saving’ herself for her marriage, so I didn’t pressure her at all. But as our relationship continued she became more relaxed and more adventurous sexually. One day she declared “I want to know what making love is like, let’s do it!”. I was very keen, but she said that her knickers were staying on. I went along with this, but I still wore a condom just in case — I definitely didn’t want another ‘accident’ to happen like it did with poor sweet Fiona (I will talk about her in another chapter).

Soon after this we decided to go away for a weekend as she was ready to ‘do it’ properly. Our first weekend away was in the Lake District, we stayed in a very posh hotel at Lake Windermere and the ‘Do not disturb’ sign was permanently displayed on our bedroom door for the two days. I remember her giggling like a child when she saw the large double bed. Over two glorious days we just spent most of the time in that bed. We even shared a bath together and I remember rushing into the bathroom…

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Kevin Donnellon

father, husband, socialist, atheist, humanist, Evertonian, disabled, contrarian. kevindonnellon.com