Pizza

The date had started so well, and now Richard was in his bed alone, staring at the ceiling. Where had it gone wrong? He thought he was a perfect gentleman. He had picked Sarah up, opened the door for her, even paid for the meal. Deep dish pizza isn’t cheap.

He thought the conversation went well. They were clicking. They had things in common. He was being funny. She was making physical contact and smiling. He had seen in an article online that that was a good sign.

At the end of the meal, everything seemed to dip. She started responding with shorter and shorter words, eventually only smiling. When he dropped her off, she did not give him a kiss, or even mention another date. She simply ran off into her apartment.

Richard was disappointed. It had been a long time since his last relationship, and he was starting to despair that it would never happen again.

All of sudden, he got a call. He looked at the ID, and it was from Sarah. He was hit with a wave of fear and excitement. He answered.

“I’m sorry I just ran off,” she said. “I didn’t want to. I had fun and would like to see you again.”

“I was so confused,” he said. “I thought you hated me.”

“No, not at all,” she said.

“What happened?” He said. “Everything was great until after dinner.”

“I got, umm, sick,” she said.

“Oh I’m sorry,” he said. “We’re you feeling bad before the date? You could have cancelled, I would have understood.”

“No, it’s not that,” she said. There was silence on the other end of the line for a prolonged moment. “I take pills for lactose intolerance, and they were no match for the pizza.”

“Oh my god,” he said. “You should have told me. We could have gone somewhere else.”

“No, it’s not usually bad, and I wanted to try deep dish pizza,” she said. “I also wanted to keep my lactose intolerance a secret at least for a little while. It’s so embarrassing, and I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be embarrassed,” he said. “Next time just tell me.”

“Next time?” She said.

“Does Wednesday work for you?” He said.

“It does,” she said.

“Okay,” he said. “See you then.” He hung up the phone. He looked back up at the ceiling.

“She had diarrhea,” he said, quietly to himself. He felt his body get warm as his head started to spin with the thought of a new love.