I wrote this long list (of the things I’ve been thinking about as of late) while listening to Sh.

  1. You don’t have to constantly talk with your friends to “prove” the friendship. Not doing so doesn’t produce any less of one, and people who say otherwise are just selfish.
  2. Mentality is everything. I can’t stress that enough. It’s literally everything. For example, say I’m going to the doctor’s office to take a shot. I could be panicking about how the needle is going to pierce through my skin, disrupt millions of nerve cells, and make me feel intense pain. Or, I can just realize it might be 1 of 10,000 shots I’ll have to take in my life, embrace the fact, and just get through it — naturally. All the while, the situation (of me going in to take the shot) in itself never changed. But my personal experience did, depending on which mentality I choose to endorse.
  3. Going back to #2, I sometimes feel we resort to the first scenario, mainly because it seems like the “socially correct” approach to take. But as I grow older, I find that idea increasingly misguiding. There are so many different ways to address different situations. “Standardized” behaviors (that we think we understand and thus try to act according to) may not always fit everyone (or provide the best procedures) — we’re all too different from one another for that. For example, if I’m supposed to panic when getting shots, how come there are people who get tattoos for fun? The world is fluid — nothing is ever static.
  4. On the topic of tattoos, I think I’m going to get one of a panda on my left forearm after I graduate. Mainly because I identify with it a lot.
  5. On the topic of needles, I think I’ve gotten so many needles stuck in my body before that I’ve become numb to such a pain it produces. I’m getting some more tomorrow actually. It’s going to suck, but my future self will need it.
  6. If you don’t understand who you are, it shows.
  7. Just because you dress well doesn’t mean you’ll suddenly become an attractive and respectable figure people will look up to. What a dumb idea to believe in.
  8. You lose your color while trying to be nice to everyone. It’s important to know how to balance the two.
  9. What does it mean to like someone? I liked the people I did before mostly because I thought I was supposed to. You know, like friends telling me I should, blah, blah, blah. Now, approaching it purely in a personal way, how do I know whether my feelings for others is a genuine, sustainable, and reliable one? How do I then express my feelings in a way that best captures those ideas? Would my expressions have been more genuine if my mind weren’t so desensitized by how the media’s depiction of human relationships? Would it have been a more beautiful experience? I’m not sure, but it’s something I’m beginning to chew on. I always thought love was a stupid game people played to fulfill their personal desires, but now I’m trying to believe it’s something greater than the self-serving concept I made it out to be.
  10. The type of reality I believe in doesn’t always exist. Always in some segments.
  11. I hate talking about myself, so I write instead.
  12. I’m done with this one here.
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