Should You Or Should You Not Be Judgmental?

Everybody knows the quote “You shouldn’t judge a book by its cover.” Humans though may be naturally judgmental. It’s in our human nature to judge other people: whether by their looks, clothes, first impression, manner of speaking, way of walking, how much money they make, where they came from, their ethnicity, etc.

While it is in our nature to judge, I think we should also try our best not to judge another person so quickly. There are so many instances where I judged a person too quickly, I told myself I would never get along with that person, but then once I got to know them, we became long time friends.

The other way also happens, I judge a person as someone who I can be close friends with, but as I spend more time with that person, I find out that we just don’t click, no matter how many similarities we have.

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“Hey did you know that guy looks like ________?”

It’s actually impossible to never judge another person, but it is possible to get their point of view or perspective first or after you make a judgment. You never know the story of that person. Why he or she does those things. Why he likes to dress like that. Why she talks that way. Why those groups of people enjoy playing that game. We might not understand them unless we open their minds to their perspective.

I once knew a guy who likes girls on the heavier side. I never liked those type of girls as I’ve always liked girls who are sporty, athletic, or like to exercise. I tried to get his perspective and after much empathic thinking, I understood the appeal of the type of girls he likes.

I also dislike guys who are cocky and arrogant. I had a classmate in college who was really cocky when we play basketball. I kept avoiding him in the first semester of the 2nd year. I was surprised in time that aside from his cocky basketball tendencies, he’s actually a really kind person off the court, and a great friend too. Years later, until now we’re still close friends.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with judging other people contrary to what most people think. Why should we go against our nature to judge people, when that instinct has probably helped us survive since the very beginning of time?

What I’m trying to say is that you should watch how you act based on your judgments. Are you quickly making a harsh judgment on a person you’ve never even tried to talk to? Did you make that judgment without hearing what that person has to say on his/her side?

Too many of us lose possible new friendships and valuable connections when we judge too quickly and judge too harshly without proper context and empathy. The person we are judging might be our next best friend or our next business partner!

The next time you encounter a person who you initially don’t like or don’t understand, maybe try to get his or her perspective first. You might be surprised to understand a completely different point of view from your own.

Written by

Personal Development/Self-Improvement Writer

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