When To Slow Down & Build A Real Connection (READ THIS)
Thirsty Thursday mothafvckkaaas
Good morning and I had one hell of an interesting conversation yesterday.
I was hanging out with this cute little blonde friend of mine, Kelly, yesterday and we had an deep conversation.
Seriously, it’s like she was trying to strip me of all emotions and everything….good luck Kelly.
She was telling me about how when we met, she felt that the overly confident, super-social, energetic guy that she met…wasn’t me.
She started saying that the first time we actually sat down and had a real conversation, that she liked me WAY more that she did before.
Actually, no, this makes total fvcking sense.
Guys, there is something really important to remember when you’re getting out there to meet the world.
People want to meet the real you, the 100% authentic version of yourself, but that being said, many people won’t give you a chance unless you build some intrigue, some attraction, a spark first.
Foremost, always be yourself but remember there is a part of the interaction where you are supposed to turn off the boosters and build a real connection.
I had to break it to Kelly that the overly confident, incredibly social guy that she first met, was me and I LOVE that side of me.
It’s so much…fun
But the mellow, deep, and conversational side, is 100% me as well.
I want to change the fvcking world and make an impact. That’s not going to happen as a guy that is ALWAYS challenging.
When guys first start going and are finally getting a taste of getting into a flow state, they get addicted to that feeling of being so carefree and high-energy. Which is something a lot of guys don’t realize that holds them back A LOT.
Once you have her hooked in the conversation, it’s 50/50. You want to really listen to her emotions and connect with her on a real level. You turn down the overly confident and energetic side and build a real connection.
Many guys FORGET that they have to do this and think that girls want to be with a guy that is always making puns, joking and bouncing around talking to new people.
…it’s attractive, at first. But NEVER forget that you have to build a real connection by turning off the jets and having a real conversation.
I feel like a pussy typing this all out, but it’s an important step of the process that a fvckton of people overlook. I knew that I had to share it.
They get too wrapped up in the approaching and attracting that they forget to build real, solid, value.
Let’s say you and her have been building real rapport for a little while, you should still hit her with a challenge or a push every so often….as a reminder that you’re a guy that can spike her emotions with a spark.
Whenever a girl and I are really connection, this is one of my favorites.
“Not many people can bring this stuff out me of, why are you doing this to me right now? I hate you” — with a smirk on your face and giving her a lot of positive body language.
She lans into you
She puts her hands on you
..I think you know where this is headed
You can take it from here killer 😉
Happy Thursday Badass.
Originally published at kevinskene.com on August 6, 2015.