Why you *NEED* a COACH
Real talk, I don’t know why, but I woke up feeling like today was going to be really fvcking awesome
…then I checked my email.
It was an email from an old coach of mine. I guess he had heard about the huge fvcking strides I’ve been taking and felt like he wanted to shares some value.
Holy shit did he ever.
We were sharing stories back from when I played soccer and he said I’d be sprinting down the field as fast as fvcking possible and he would just tell for me to run faster, and I’d find it in me run a little faster.
If you want to grow in your skill, you need a coach.
This is because as humans, our perception of our effort is always higher than it’s actually limit.
People THINK they are trying their hardest, when really, they’re just outside of what’s comfortable to them.
If you think about it with horses. When a jockey or whatever is racing a horse around a track, you bet your ass the horse knows that it is trying to win. They practice it all of the time. The horse is going to be running at it’s “perceived limit” but when the jockey starts smacking it with a whip
Guess what happens?
It runs faster.
This is the exact same with people.
This happens because as you know, we have two sides to our brain, our emotional side and our logical side. No matter how you scale them, when you’re literally giving something 100% of your effort, you’re using both sides completely.
So lets say you have your emotional side pretty suppressed. Let’s call it, 80% logical, 20% emotional. When you are logically pushing your self into doing something like approaching girls, then you’re only able to giving it 80% of effort until you’re emotional side kicks in and tells you to stop and that you’ve reached it’s limit.
Our emotional brains are scared like scared little boys that are afraid of getting hurt.
…and as we’ve learned before, we find the MOST GROWTH in the hardest 20% of effort.
So why does haviing a coach help us so much?
Because when you have a coach in your ear, it convinces your emotional brain that it’s biggest fear is under-producing. It’s no longer afraid of getting hurt from trying too hard.
It’s the exact same with work. Let’s say that every day you go to work and give it your full effort. Your logical brain knows that you’re doing well and producing decent results, but your emotional brain is keeping your at a good level because you don’t want to get burnt out. If you push to hard you might make a mistake and that’s not good either.
But let’s say your Boss walks in and says, “If you don’t make this many calls by the end of the day, you’re fired”
Now all of a sudden you’re gonna be hustling so fvcking hard. And this is because your emotional brain is just scared shitless of getting fired, so it’s putting all of it’s energy and supporting the logical side.
The same is true with game.
Unfortunately you might not be able to get a coach for game every single time you go out. This is why finding a wing man is so fvcking important too. They can emulate that same sort of pressure as a coach.
But what do you do when you go out alone?
You’re in a bar, emotional levels spiking high, how do you make them join your logical side and put in EXTRA effort and motivation?
You use your imagination.
Remember, this isn’t your logical brain that we’re talking about.
When approaching women, literally picture your favorite dating coach, wingman or mothafvckin Hank Moody there telling you too approach like a mad man.
You’re logical brain knows that he/she isn’t there.
…but your emotional brain doesn’t.
This is a really fvcking powerful tactic that can be used for periods of time that you’re out and approaching or even like the last 30 minutes of your work day.
Obviously this isn’t AS solid as having a coach with you there, but when you are feeling self doubt or you are feeling that you wish you were putting in some extra work, this is a really nifty tool for you to use.
I hope you use this tonight.
Go out and be social.
You = awesome –
I have to go get a new mattress, this chick told me that it smelled like shame, regret and sex… 😉
– Kevin Hunter
Originally published at psycheofmen.com on May 13, 2015.