Don’t choose happiness. Choose this instead.

When I fell in love with music I was blinded by a fiery momentum. There was no doubt I felt an immediate passion, but I remember looking to my hero’s on stage for answers. I watched their smiling faces and thought, “if I do what makes me happy, I will be happy”.

“Now I wonder, are the most powerful moments the ones that change your life, or the moments in-between?”

A misconception of happiness can lead to an endless search for satisfaction. The truth is, I don’t think we can sustain happiness. It burns too hot.

Passion

I recognized early on that I was actually chasing passion, not happiness. The mastery of a skill takes time and dedication. It takes perseverance. Turns out following your passion is just following a journey that requires you to never give up.

There was one moment that has always stuck with me though. It was neither a pivotal moment, nor one between. It was something else.

I had just passed a critical turning point in my life, and although completely unaware, I was also on the toes of another. Barely 20, a move to the big city brought me to Boston as a transfer student. I had been accepted to what was supposed to be my “dream school”. It wasn’t the moment I decided to leave Colorado for Boston that changed me. It wasn’t even the moment (two months later) when I later decided to leave Boston, that really mattered.

It was the moment I took my oboe out of the case for the first time after arriving. It was when I started to play. My world stopped spinning. I felt at home.

Who You Are

Moments can’t define who we are. They direct us. They ask us to choose. Under every passing minute is the essence of who we are. There is a sense of steadiness that comes from that, whether or not we we are able to define it.

When passion and your essence merge, the two create an unwavering connection. This connection will be tested. I’ve lost hold on it so many times, I’ve gotten used to the white space that follows in it’s absence.

What brings you back?

You just have to be willing to see that it’s still there. It never left. Your essence came into this world with you and your passion will always find it’s way back to you.


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