You Say Stop, I Say Go.

Response to Tracy Clark-Flory’s “Faulty Male Introspection”


He pulls up to the driveway, and leans over for a goodnight kiss. Ten minutes pass and they are still making out in front of her house. She pulls away, saying she has to get in before curfew. The boy says “ok,” and begins to kiss her again, but this time, more agressively. She pushes him aside, gets out of the car and he drives away angry, cussing her out. Let’s just say, I’m no longer with this guy. Was it my fault, or his?

After reading “Faulty Male Introspection,” I had to read it again to fully understand this new phrase. Then, of course I got more confused, Googled it and many articles came up about sexual activity, and how the guy can misread the simpliest things, such as “stop.” Why isn’t there a Faulty Female Introspection? Does the misreading always happen when making out, or going in for the home run?

I assume whoever came up with this word was a woman who didn’t know how to talk to her man. Blaming the male for misreading your signals is kind of petty. If you’re a young, beautiful girl making out with your boyfriend, and when things get hot and heavy, you say “stop” — what is he supposed to think? You are both young and have probably watched movies and TV shows with sex in them (or just the sexy parts.) In non-surprising news, your hormones are raging inside of you, and the guy most likely thinks it’s a game. Shows such as “Desperate Housewives” publicly showing “games” are what makes things hot, who wouldn’t want their life like that?

So where does the Faulty Female Introspection fit in? Females are just as likely to misread. Girls can be pushy when it comes down to make out sessions. In my household, and probably in many others, my mother runs the house. Almost always when my dad comes home, he either goes to work in the yard or his many cars in the driveway. When my mom calls out, “Dinner will be ready soon,” he almost never comes in. Then when I have to go get him, he states he thought my mom would come back out when dinner is actually ready. Could this be faulty male or female?

Way back when we had to buy CDs to listen to music, many of 1990's music was based on she-said, he-said boy bands and pop divas. I recently found my Backstreet Boys, N’Sync and Britney Spears albums, uploaded them and forgot how whiny these bands used to be. Of course music didn’t start being whiny in the ‘90s, but their whole careers were based on petty love songs and blaming the opposite sex. What if we lived our life like a pop song? I’m pretty sure if you break out in, “Quit Playin’ Games With My Heart,” you will never see that person again.

Misinterpretation has happened since men and women were created. Anyone remember that little story of the serpent and Eve? (Yes, you can argue that it was a lie, but Eve did misread the truth.) Or to stay in the music references, the Beatles talked about misinterpretation in “Hello, Goodbye” — “You say yes, I say no, you say stop, I say go.” Well, it fits the topic, right?

When it comes down to saying how you feel, tell the damn truth. Don’t sugarcoat it, no changing the subject. If you want your man or woman to really know, just say slow down. They will appreciate you being honest, and may lower the rates of unwanted pregnancies.