The Last Walk
Perhaps I need some more time.
We have not talked for a long time; we keep seeing each other but I always try to avoid him, trying to keep out of any personal contacts to open up a way for communication.
Would you mind telling me?
I did not reply.
It was quiet. The place has settled down. Other people have already left; the chamber doors stood ajar. The cells were empty. The place was soulless.
The faint smell of the wind blowing weakly in the open space somehow caught my attention. The sunlight dashes through the small holes of the roof, igniting some heat on the floor, joining the wind and making it dry. At a distant, I can hear some whining, but I cannot fully comprehend. Some doors on the lower grounds were being shut uncontrollably and uncarefully. For seconds, I stood there without a word. I inhaled some air, trying to fill my head with oxygen, as if I am looking for any possibility that my decision would still change, that, when I let go of the air in my lungs, my brain would be renewed once again.
I miss you.
I don’t know whether I should smile, but I seemed nonchalant. My brain tells me to open my mouth, though, my heart keeps it shut at all times.
I looked at him. His blue eyes are still the shiniest thing I’ve ever seen… they are always willing to see and witness more than what they can perceive. His lips, though dry, speak the gentlest voice that can settle any troubled heart. His skin, intertwinning with his slightly loose shirt and pants, makes him look naive and vulnerable. His posture appears as if he is about to step forward…lean on… reach out… So I stepped back.
What’s the matter?
I uttered under by breath.
I’m sure he didn’t hear me, but I knew he understood what I meant by my action.
Seeing him with that girl was actually a fantastic scenario. They both belong together, as if they fit each other’s missing puzzles. Her long, curly hair hanging by her shoulders bounce as she walked with him. He, on the other hand, was slightly distant from her, but the look from his eyes could tell how amazed he was about her.
She turned around and smiled at him, then she said something I didn’t understand. Both of them paused, then he laughed, and the sparks in his eyes show how happy his spirit was. It was the first time I ever saw him smile that way. He had never smiled with such awe before.
Then he stepped forward. He leaned. She leaned. Their lips met each other’s.
His left hand touched her waist gently. Her right hand climbed up slowly into his cheeks.
I was supposed to be the other piece of his puzzle.
Please talk to me.
My thoughts were interrupted by his words. I was startled and I looked at him as if I was confused to see him right in front of me. Then I remembered — I meant to talk. But what I was doing was not talking.
I am sorry. I…I was thinking of something else. Do you know what time it is?
He glanced at his wristwatch less than comprehending. Then he said:
It’s fifteen past two.
I nodded as if agreeing. Then, I told him:
What would it be like if we are still here, the way we were before?
I don’t know. Why, what are we now?
I showed a faint smile.
I am sorry. I have to go.
I know I can’t. He can’t, too. One has to ungrab.
Now, we can think of what would it be like if we are still here tomorrow!
The wind stopped blowing. I stepped back, smiled, and walked away.