I’m not sure if having this account on Medium going to help me to keep on writing my personal thoughts or not. I’ve been changing multiple accounts on different websites, in order to keep on writing. But, I guess Medium it’s different, isn’t it? So, I guess I’m going to try it. Personally I’m going to write anything related to my personal opinions, stories, or maybe record some audio. In short, it’s all about me (it sounds a bit narcissistic, I guess). In terms of language, I’m trying to write it in English — even though my grammar isn’t that good and sometimes in Indonesian (depends on my mood).

For the beginning, I would like to share about my current situation. It’s D-5 before the celebration of Eid Mubarak and now I’m waiting to have a meal before I fast for almost 12 hour. And in fasting month, especially in Indonesia, we have this term of going back home, specifically for celebrating Eid Mubarak, called 'mudik’. 'Mudik' as what I found on Google Translate, it literally means 'going home' — which also means the person who did this live outside their hometown.

While for me, this term is a bit complicated. I was born in Yogyakarta, but then I spent 18 years of my life in Tangerang. There’s more, when I got my first ID (usually in Indonesia, we got it after we turned 17 years old), I made it in Yogyakarta — which automatically made me the official residents of Yogyakarta, not Tangerang. It’s a bit confusing for me at first, because I’ve never lived in Yogyakarta, except for holiday, and at that time, I had zero thoughts of leaving Tangerang behind. At that time, I felt like it’s impossible for me living in Yogyakarta, but now here I am, already settled for almost seven years.

I graduated from university in this city and now I found my job in here too. So I might say Yogyakarta is my hometown now. While I feel I already became the real Yogyakarta residents — most people thought I originally from Tangerang and every Eid Mubarak many people ask, “you’re not going home?”. I’m already at home now.

I used to 'mudik' every fasting month in my whole life and Yogyakarta is the destination, it’s almost like the tradition in my family. But now, I’m living in the city where I’m supposed to come once in a year. When the 'mudik' season come, it feels strange, and I felt the urge to go somewhere else. And the fact is, I have nowhere to go. My family’s here, my house in Tangerang has been sold, and now the only place I had is in Yogyakarta. I felt a bit empty inside. It’s an indescribable feelings. I guess my frist writing is intoxicated with PMS — too emotional…

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