To be The Graceful Sun.

Kelvin Khusbin
Nov 4 · 6 min read

Chapter 12 : Ad Lumina Solis / Sol Decorum est

This art I share in this chapter is beautifully hand-painted by (@nathania_lim) go ask her for a commission to support my friend HA!

Here you see, a fool trying to explore his world. He started by looking for people that support him in his endeavors. These people slowly became his confidants, his support system and more importantly, they became a family for the fool to broaden his horizons and world views. On this chapter he shares his resolutions for you.


Let’s Catching Up!

Hi guys, it’s me Khusbin! Just some guy who wants to share his progress to the world, you know even though it’s pointless, sometimes leaving your footstep on the beach is really fun! Even this post will be erased by waves and waves of digital information people face every day. This feels like I’m writing a journal, it also feels like I’m reminiscing memories, oaths, and feelings that leaving a mark in my heart. So here you go. Enjoy this little journal ^^

The last time I talked about my life is when I share about the journey of the fool. I was so mesmerized by the fact that tarot card is a story of someone who tries to live his life to the fullest, meeting influential people from his journey and learn so much more from them.

Just like any kin, they learn from experience, from people, from examples, and they get inspiration from beautiful, wonderful, and ever giving nature. Those art, stories & novelties, hardships, and desires. Those things fuel me too.

I had so many stories I need to keep by myself, trusted by these close confidants of mine. Their secrets, desires, and cluelessness is indeed a powerful catalyst for the fool. Hanging out with these not-ever positive people and their flaws, we talked about our purpose & visions. There’s a lot of What If, or Actually I want to…

Again I wanna share this art which beautifully hand-painted by (@nathania_lim) I just love it that much.

Then it’s my turn to share stories.

When I was elementary I wanted to be a Pilot. To fly above the skies, freed by anything that bounds this kid to reach his dream and most importantly bring others with me is one, logically or not a dream too sweet to be true.

When I’m around middle school, I was dreaming about to be an inventor. Like my dad said if I can make a plane / UFO that can fly faster than light I will be super rich, and people can use my invention for a better life. (oh I don’t know how fast is the light that time HA!) I just like the sound of what I create makes people live better. or the grandiose view of it is I make humanity take their leap on something and money, of course, I wanna buy all disc for my ps2, God thanks emuparad*se that comes true haha!

When I’m in high school, I was having a bad time with people around me, being a victim of slander makes people disgust of me for years, I have no one to be a figure, not the teacher (except for 1 or 2, but we’re not really close) and I don’t have true friend or rival or someone who actually believes in me truly. Literally I can only depend on God at that time. Share my pain and sadness alone on the 4th floor right beside the school’s badminton field almost every day.

So that time my dream or I can say that time my goal is to be a public figure, to inspire someone to be kind, to be understanding, to be strong, to see someone without any labels put on them, to be something like a symbol to bring better change.

When I started to learn diversity on my campus, Universitas Ciputra Surabaya. I have good confidence in my goal to be a public figure but slowly, learning entrepreneurship, leadership, and influence. I refine that goal to be this

“I want to be a frontman, I want to be someone who can give impact by having sustainable business or foundation that gives values to people.”

That direct, overpowering approach is always my style to do things at that time. Yes, it was optimistic but not too realistic. Just like any other freshmen out there I was hungry, not only that I was foolishly stupid. I think about vision and how good it was to be true. BUT I didn’t learn human. Not on the novelty side.

And now, we are here.

Well, that was long, isn’t it? reading about somebody’s goals from time to time must be tiring and boring. But if you are giving them a chance they might surprise you IRL!

I quit University during my sophomore year, and the reason is simple. I study Visual Communication Design on my uni, while my goal is not aligned with that study. I felt I had enough of my fill on formal education. I don’t think I’m smart enough to stop, not that. But I wanna learn something else. Something practical, something that is affecting people close to me.

And that is making real sum of money, and not surprising anyone. I haven’t made some real money here hahaha!

I made small bits, really useful for someone who loves Nyobak & Pangsit Mie Ujung Pandang like me. But that’s not good enough to support society neither people around me. I handle a cafe for 2 years after I quit, and too bad the business needed to be closed.

WHY? Because we are not having any profit from it, the market in Makassar prefers family restaurants better. We had human resource problem too! Also, the competition is not healthy, people dare to put their price as low as water to win the competition and dominate market, but new, fresh, big capital investors always came, so the cafe will just fall and rise. Nothing good out of it.

A year after that.

With my work as a freelance designer that can provide a stable income every month, I finally can afford myself. I started to explore what I love, what I want to do. Do some videos on youtube, working my habits, and broaden my horizons.

I tried to help people that came for me for designs, I tried to encourage my friends to be better day by day. These 3 years-long processes gave me patience. These give me real desperation but also real small successes from time to time. Like increasing my family therapy business, manage our family restaurant Fusia, also caffeine achieved some monthly goals sometimes.

These experiences awaken my sense of novelty, it’s not about what I can do anymore, but more why, when, and how I will do it. When I do something when is the right time? why I do what I can? and How I will do it? basically did my life, did my actions bring any real value for people, is it has a deep enough meaning behind it.

Then I conclude all these feelings, all these dreams to one oath.

Ad Lumina Solis / Sol Decorum est

To be The Shining Sun. So far, yet her love is so inclusive, so life-changing. Her smile is upon the dawn, feeding ecosystem with graceful attitude. So constant, so full of joy. Something so large herself but looks so small, something so bright that it affects the smallest entity & The farthest planet. A pride for other stars, something hated, something loved. I love her.

She taking turns with the silver moon to keep the world spinning. To hard to approach, might be lonely, might be awkward. But herself is the symbol of a brand new day coming to the world.

I think I can describe so much more to you about The Graceful Sun. But it’s so much better for The Sun to show you it’s bright outside rather than telling you “I’m hot bro, HA!”, see you!

Kelvin Khusbin

Written by

I write for fun! Also to vent some steam inside this mad mind of an ENFP... I guess...

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