Twenties is about losing people

Yes, am in my twenties and constantly losing people, mostly because everybody is so busy “moving on” in their life. Some are moving to other countries, some are changing their jobs, some are cutting toxic people off their lives and blah blah (you get the idea right?). Last year I moved from a city I was studying to another city which is about 2 hours drive away, for job. Two months back, I came back here to join my old roommates again. Of course i was thinking that it will all be same. Just like the old times plus my new boyfriend is also in the same city. So, it is close to perfect, Isn’t it? But boy I was so wrong.
Let me tell you about my roommates, one is an over-achiever, really good at studies, an inspiration for self-improvement and really knows her priorities (also my best friend). Another one is a nurse with motherly instincts (only if she’s not sleepy, but she can be a bitch when irritated). And my boyfriend is a tall red flag with brown eyes, always making me laugh (or try to make me laugh) and emotionally unavailable. So, my best friend is moving to abroad with great job opportunities (told you, an over achiever), another roommate is getting married in about three weeks (So, she will be gone soon). It’s good to move around, experiencing change and taking charge of your life, isn’t it? When I moved last year, I think it is the best decision! It helped me getting out of a toxic relationship, I found some really good friends, i enjoyed a lot and mostly i met this new guy there (but the job sucked). I moved, left people behind and thinking that i owe nothing to no-one. Last night, we had “that-compulsory-farewell” party for the one going abroad and enjoyed a lot. Then it triggered, Shit! now I am the one being left behind. What am i gonna do now? I mean I am so old now, can’t make new friends. Can’t expect any support from the boyfriend as he is always telling me to grow up, get your shit together, stop being clingy and desperate all the time (the usual but in sugar-coated manner of course). So basically I am hyper-venting, having panic attacks and experiencing anxiety but smiling all through it. Because that is what a mature person would do, right?
I made a lot of mistakes, and continue to making one after another. But lessons are worth it. Move on, feel depressed, experience new places, experience heart breaks and feeling of being left behind. This is a phase of life you gotta realise, face, survive, live, experience (whatever works for you). One thing I learnt so far is that it’s okay to move forward and leave people behind. It is also okay to feel left behind and feel happy about your friends and other people moving forward in their lives.
It’s okay to feel homesick for the hands that don’t want to hold you.
This is your personal adventure, make the most of it. Things eventually fall in place (at least I hope they do). You life might not be like your favorite cliche movie but it will be unique, soothing and perfect to you, one day for one moment. Just hope the best and see how it turns out. I am curious for mine too.
I will surely write what happen when my roommates move. And how it turns out with my emotional-unavailable boyfriend and how am doing at my new job. But for now, am just gonna sit back and see how it turns out and how I lead my life as i don’t have any plans to be honest. Most difficult thing is to be honest with you. I wonder if we are not even honest with ourselves than where we go? Guess we need to find out that too.
