“You were more marvelous in your simple wish to find a way”
A eulogy for a fellow pilgrim
Today, I woke up to the news that someone I knew decided to take their life.
(They wished to be called “they”, switching from “he” to “she” and perhaps many more interim pronouns in their trying to make sense of themselves)
I hesitated to call them a friend, for we weren’t that close in order to deserve such a title. Partly because I’m afraid of the burden of being a friend and the guilt that would come upon hearing such news.
But we did dance with each other plenty of times. We both enjoyed acrobatic types of move and often threw each upside down, surprising ourselves by the unexpected flying around. That’s what young-ish people who have more energy than skill play with each other when they meet. It’s so liberating to be reckless and carefree. Until an injury happens, of course, which fortunately we never got.
When you dance with someone, especially in an expressive, non-structured improvisation, you got to know the person in a profound way. The body doesn’t lie very well. We connected via that zest for life, the thirst for intensity and raw playfulness. A kindred soul, they were highly philosophical, athletic and artistic.
