How to Handle Insults Like a Pro

Lorenzo Makoy
3 min readOct 2, 2023

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We’ve all been there. Someone says something rude, mean, or offensive to us, and we feel hurt, angry, or embarrassed. How do we react in these situations? Do we lash out, cry, or run away? Or do we stay calm, confident, and composed?

I’ll share with you some tips on how to handle insults like a pro. These are strategies that will help you deal with any verbal attack without losing your cool or dignity.

  1. Use the power of silence. One of the most effective ways to respond to an insult is to say nothing at all. When someone insults you, pause for a moment or two before saying anything. This will catch them off guard and make them feel uneasy. You can also narrow your eyes slightly or squint as if you’re trying to figure something out. This gives the impression that you’re not taking the insult personally, but rather analyzing it from a detached perspective.
  2. Don’t take it personally. Another way to handle insults is to realize that they’re not about you, but about the person who said them. Most of the time, people who insult others are insecure, unhappy, or frustrated with themselves or their lives. They use insults as a way to vent their emotions, boost their ego, or manipulate others. So don’t let their words affect you or your self-esteem. Look at them, but not directly in their eyes. Look slightly past them or at the background to show that you’re disinterested in what they have to say.
  3. Use the power of humor. A third way to deal with insults is to use humor to defuse the situation. Humor can help you lighten the mood, reduce tension, and show that you’re not intimidated by the other person’s words. You can respond with a witty comeback or a joke that makes fun of the insult or the insulter. For example, if someone says “You’re so stupid”, you can say “Wow, you’re so observant” or “Thanks for the compliment”. Just make sure your humor is not mean-spirited or sarcastic, as that can escalate the conflict.
  4. Kill them with kindness. A fourth way to handle insults is to be nice to the person who insulted you. This may sound counterintuitive, but it can actually work wonders. By being kind and polite, you show that you’re not affected by their words and that you’re above their level of negativity. You can also compliment them on something or express empathy for their situation. For example, if someone says “You’re so ugly”, you can say “You have such beautiful eyes” or “I’m sorry you feel that way”. This can make them feel ashamed of their behavior and maybe even apologize.
  5. Ask questions. A fifth way to deal with insults is to ask questions that challenge the validity of the insult or the motive of the insulter. By asking questions, you put the other person on the spot and make them think twice about what they said. You can also expose their ignorance, bias, or hypocrisy by asking for evidence or examples when they make baseless claims. For example, if someone says “You’re such a loser”, you can say “What makes you say that?” or “Can you give me an example of how I’m a loser?”. This can make them feel less confident and more defensive.
  6. Stay relaxed and smile. A sixth way to handle insults is to stay relaxed and smile throughout the interaction. By doing this, you show that you’re not bothered by the other person’s words and that you’re in control of your emotions and reactions. You can also stare at their forehead between and slightly above the eye-line, which is a subtle way of asserting dominance and making them feel uncomfortable. Smiling also releases endorphins in your brain, which make you feel happier and more positive.

These are some of the ways you can handle insults like a pro. Remember that insults are more about the person who says them than about you, so don’t let them get to you or ruin your day. Instead, use these tips to respond with grace, confidence, and dignity.

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Lorenzo Makoy

Electronics engineer, crypto and AI fan. Working in music and entertainment.