Depression isn’t all in my head

I sit here wrapped in my blanket with parks and rec playing in the background with messy hair that hasn’t been washed in four days and even though I have just woken up from a nap I am still tired.

This is not because I am a lazy gross slob (though sometimes I will admit that is the reason) it’s because I simply cannot make myself get up to go take a shower I sleep all day because the thought of getting up and trying to interact with all the joyous happy people all day makes me exhausted.

Yes depression is a mental illness but it affects me physically too.

When I get up in the morning my back aches and there are bags under my eyes not because I slept badly but because it feels like the weight of everything in the world is coming down on me at once and its dragging all of me downwards.

I would love to be able to get up in the morning all happy and jolly and take a nice shower and take proper care of myself so other people don’t have to but the reality is it’s just a little too much for me to handle at this moment.

I know as I’m writing this that they’re always be people who tell me to buck up and that it’s not as bad as I make it out to be or that I really am just a lazy slob. But they don’t bother me because I know that although times may be rough for me right now better things are coming.

For anyone else who struggles with not being able to do what you want because of depression or any other mental illness you may have just know that you are doing the best you can and that’s just fine and you will be okay and if you need anything I’m here for you.

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