You don’t have to love yourself to be loved

I know the news is shocking.

On all the social media sites images are always floating around saying “how is someone supposed to love you if you don’t love yourself first?” I get it. It’s supposed to be motivating and encourage one to embrace self love. The Rationale makes sense. I spend the most time with myself and know everything about myself if i don’t like what I see how can someone who only sees a fraction of me possibly love me? While i guess technically this makes sense,

This is completely and utter bullshit.

Pardon my french but friends there is no prerequisite that demands you love yourself before you are deemed lovable.

Loving yourself is hard, even when people didn’t criticize what you looked like all your life it is still ridiculously difficult for some. And if you happen to have a mental illness or a history of being bullied that only makes the journey ten times harder.

It’s true when they say “you’re your own worst enemy.” We are constantly judging ourselves, we see ourselves in the unflattering double chin angle. We know the instant that we messed up on something so simple. We see the stretch marks, the rolls, and other unflattering parts of our bodies we wish we could get rid of. Even when we know we can’t control our mental illnesses and how they make us feel or react we still get angry at ourselves when we push people away and make ourselves feel like we are all alone in the world.

Here’s the other shocking fact,

No one else sees that.

I know its hard to believe but take a moment to soak it all up because its true.

When people love you they see none of that or if they do at all they see it only as more reason to love you. Your face if beautiful at all angles simply because its your face. Your stretch marks and rolls and other unflattering body parts to you are beautiful to them because it contains your beautiful soul they fell in love with. Your illness and uncontrollable mood swings only act as proof that they should love you all that much more to help you through your rough times.

It is ok to not love yourself yet it is a long journey that takes lots of time and patience.

Just remember for anyone struggling just because you don’t love you does not and should not ever disqualify you from being loved because you think you’ve been deemed unlovable.

I love you and lots of other people do to. Don’t forget that.