When Men Cheat On Pregnant Women
Samantha Parsons

I didn’t cheat on my wife when she was pregnant, in fact I never cheated on her. During our fourteen years together there were opportunities, not many but a few, but I never acted on them because the thought of hurting her stopped me. There was also a knowledge that had I cheated I’d feel ashamed that I’d broken my promise.

According to your article four out of five men never cheat. Nine out of ten men stay faithful during their partner’s pregnancies. (What a bunch of shits we are.) These figures suggest that the majority of men can be trusted. In fact, regardless of gender or sexual orientation (I believe/know) the majority of people can be trusted. Of course, be careful, but let’s proceed with the knowledge that the starting odds are promising.

During my wife’s pregnancy I recall experiencing the following emotions (there were many others but these are pertinent):

Fear — would she survive giving birth? Would our daughter survive? Would I be a good father? Could I do my best?

Uselessness — I didn’t know what to do. It wasn’t me who was pregnant, it wasn’t me whose body had swollen and changed. And, worse, I wasn’t a doctor or a nurse. There were many times the person my wife needed wasn’t me but a medical professional or another woman who’d gone through childbirth, such as her mother. Of course, there were lots and lots of times she did need me but I do remember feeling a bit useless at times.

Having never cheated on a pregnant partner I can’t tell you why a man might cheat but my own recollections of my feelings during this time suggest that a man might cheat because he’s afraid and during moments of looking for reassurance he confuses the need for assuring closeness for sexual closeness. It may be that he feels a bit useless and surplus to requirements, he may be sidelined, and his worry coupled with his feelings of redundancy means he’s receptive to consolation and reassurance which again develops.

According to your article the majority of men don’t cheat. Furthermore I would suggest that of those that do most of them don’t do so due to a hatred of women.

There’s enough hate in the world can we not add to it please?

Thank you for your article. It was provocative (I don’t normally comment) but I do think you need to reappraise your assessment of why a man might cheat on his pregnant partner.