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You don’t have to take me seriously, but it might be interesting to try.

I use “micro-aggression” because it’s a term that easily identifies the collective experience of a large group of people. It’s not actually one I typically identify with, but it’s an easy description of a cumulative experience.

I work in tech; I am the thing you want your daughter to be. (And we almost invariably hate to sell, possibly because invariably, we have to back up what others oversell. Please stop. There are not enough hours in the day. QA takes time.)

How happy will your daughter be fighting for the rest of her life? Not physically, but against every small minded idiot with a grudge against anything and an axe to grind. Not because we’re women (much though people would argue) but because there are fewer of us, and we’re not protected by the same social codes that exist outside of tech pits. When there are innuendos, and only one woman (or two! Hallelujah!) in the space, the innuendos fall in the same place over and over. And it might be an acceptable amount between friends, or if only from one source, but it’s not, and they’re not.

It’s exhausting if you don’t love it. It’s exhausting some days even if you do.

There’s doing something you love in a cesspit. And then there’s doing something you tolerate in a cesspit. The second is a probably a circle of hell.

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