What is mansplaining?

A simple definition

Kiki Jewell
Aug 24, 2017 · 2 min read

Explaining:

This is when one person educates another on something the other person doesn’t know. The first person is looking for understanding, and the second person welcomes the explanation.

Simple. All humans do this.

Arrogent explaining:

This is when someone assumes the other person doesn’t understand something and explains it. The first person is looking for understanding but the second person may or may not welcome the explanation.

Annoying, but not a big deal. This is common among smart people for whom complicated topics are simple and so sometimes they forget some people are as knowledgeable as they are, and they confuse simple topics for topics that require explaining.

This is usually counteracted by arrogent explaining back. Because the first person’s goal is for understanding, they are usually quick to adjust their view of the second person. Arrogent explaining back is exhausting — particularly for women who have to do this in every new group of smart men, but because it is easily remedied, there is little harm in it beyond that.

Arrogent explaining is not mansplaining, because it can be cured.

Protip: best is to assume competence, while not criticising “dumb” questions. By talking over a woman’s head and assuming competence, rather than talking down to a woman, she will feel confident and respected enough to let you know when she needs regular explaining.

Mansplaining:

Mansplaining is when someone is explaining something for the purpose of looking smarter than the other person. Because this is exerting prowess, they are not looking for understanding. On the contrary, they are looking for evidence that the other person doesn’t understand — ie bias confirmation.

Mansplaining is not counteracted by arrogent explaining back — because the first person doesn’t care about understanding, nor are they willing to adjust their expectations of the second person.

A symptom of mansplaining is complaining about how the woman is talking. This is because the first person is not listening to what the woman is actually saying, but, like construction worker Emmett in the Lego Movie, they just hear, “blah blah blah something important yak yak.” There is no seeking of understanding.

Mansplaining is difficult to counteract, because it requires the first person to admit they aren’t smarter, which goes counter to their objective of displaying prowess. This is why it often results in frustration and anger on the part of the second person.

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