The Three Steps of Letting Go
Releasing what is holding you back
On Letting Go and Transforming From Within — Part 3:
This is the third part of the series “On Letting Go and Transforming From Within”.
In the first and second part, we discovered the concept of paradigms and learned that we need to let go of the paradigm of scarcity to realize the abundance underneath that allows us to feel enough and act out of inspiration.
In this part, we are looking at the practical steps that are needed for letting go and this practice can be implemented on a regular basis.
How to Let Go?
In order to practice letting go, a form of meditation is used. Not a concentration type of meditation in the traditional sense, but rather a release meditation.
As with regular meditation, it is about detaching from the mind and bringing awareness into your body.
The focus here, however, is on becoming aware of the sensations in your body, experience them and allow them to be released and fade.
So the three practical steps are:
- Be aware of what you want to let go off
- Allow yourself to experience it fully
- Let it come up and let it out
1. Be Aware of What You Want To Let Go Off
In order to effectively detach from the mind, only focus on the sensations you feel in your body.
Don’t focus on possible emotions or thoughts that could come up by labeling the sensations, because this would engage the mind and would make you identify with them.
What are you feeling?
Tightness, looseness, tingling, sensations of warmth or cold, your breath?
What’s happening in your body?
They key is to develop a body awareness.
This required body awareness is something we have lost touch with and it’s one of the reasons we neglect body signals of stress or disease.
Fully learn how to feel again and reclaim your body awareness.
Along with the ability to get to know yourself better, this will also help you to develop more empathy for others.
To make a habit out of this, regularly do “check-ins”. This means that throughout the day, stop whatever you do and start a “body scan”. Become present, shift the attention into your body and focus on the sensations within.
A practical approach for a short check-in, which is used in many meditation traditions is the following:
Start to let your awareness sink from your head down your spine until it reaches its bottom.
While you breathe, keep your attention at the bottom of your spine, such that if feels like “you are breathing from there.”
Then inhale for six seconds, hold it for three, exhale for six seconds and hold it again for three.
You can make a “shhh” sound while you exhale to make it easier to let go of the tension in your body.
2. Allow yourself to experience it fully
Once you develop that body awareness and feel the sensations in your boy, the first reflex might be to do something about it.
It’s important to remember that you don’t need to do anything.
No fixing, no understanding, making sense or labeling, no changing or getting rid of your sensations. See these sensations as mere feedback data, so don’t try to escape or resist them.
The only thing to do is to be present with them.
If you try to fix the sensations or do anything with them, you label them as bad and by that you resist them.
And as the saying goes,
“Whatever you resist, persists”
you will hang on to these sensations.
Therefore, similar to what Eckhart Tolle suggests, surrender to these sensations and practice non-resistance to whatever is.
Open yourself fully, experience fully, give your undivided and complete awareness and breath into your sensations.
If you do this, the sensations will transform on their own, but don’t expect this to happen. Don’t expect the sensations to change or to fade, because this would mean resisting them. They might even get worse first, so just keep experiencing fully.
3. Let it come up and let it out
Once you experience these sensations without any resistance, you are giving them space to run their natural course and fade.
They will mature and leave on their own.
By shifting your awareness outwards while you exhale, you can accompany these sensations outwards, which will make you feel relieved and lighter.
Take some time in the morning and/or evening to sit down in a distraction-free environment, tune into your body and go through the three steps.
As any kind of meditation, the key is to do these release meditation regularly.
Over the long-run, you will start to feel the scarcity of paradigm dissolving and tune into abundance.
And this is how you let go.
This concludes the third part of the series “On Letting Go and Transforming From Within”.
Head over to the fourth part, where we dive deeper into the subconscious mind and how to let go of trauma and experiences that you are not always conscious of.
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