The question is not ‘’Can I?’’ — it is ‘’Will I?’’
When there is a will, there is a way
There are countless things in which we are reluctant about when it comes to chances which can steer our life in another direction. Chances which we create for ourselves and chances which are given it to us. Beforehand, we carefully weigh possible scenarios and outcomes to prevent consequenses such as uncertainty, (self)harm and mistakes. And even though the circumstances may be favorable, we still stay reluctant on the side line, asking ourselves the question we are never able to answer, which is:
‘’Can I do it? Am I able to?’’
We are never able to answer this question, because we are simply asking the wrong question to begin with. It isn’t about ability all along, it’s about willpower. Ask yourself, how many times have you decided to not take a chance or make a change for yourself, because you have convinced yourself that you are simply not able to do it. This can be anything; wanting to take another job, thinking of leaving your toxic relationship or starting a new course or finishing a thesis. If you catch yourself thinking about possible changes in your life, that already says a lot about your ability to actually make it happen.
Then again, some are still working in the same company years later, still unsatisfied & not a step further than before. Some even got married & got twins with that same partner, still toxic and abusive. Some wait years to end up deciding to never start a new study again, still curious and eager to learn nevertheless. All these people were convinced by others or themselves that they didn’t think they had what it takes. They were convinced enough to settle for what it is, instead of trying go after for what they wish for. They hide behind a pile of excuses, assumptations and a false sense of security. They rather feel ‘’safe’’ in a situation where they are willing to restrict themselves without second thoughts. Why? Because it’s the easier way than to try something in which there are no guaranteed results where you can lose even more. This will be my first thought. As I think further about it, it doesn’t make sense at all. It isn’t particular easier. Because, rather you do nothing about it or want to take it to the next level — it all comes down to willpower.
The question isn’t ‘’Can I?’’ — it is ‘’Will I?’’
If you decide to do nothing about the current issue. You may think there isn’t any willpower involved. But this ain’t true.
Are you willing to feel miserable in overall, if you decide to continue with your current job?
Are you willing to let another person mentally mistreats you, if you decide to stay in a relationship that no longer serves you?
Are you willing to leave yourself restless and curious, if you decide to not go for that particular major you are dreaming to do?(Because you are too old, unskilled or whatever reason you are telling yourself)
Are you willing to do another semester, if you decide to give up finishing your thesis?
Are you willing to keep wondering how you will perceive the other side of the world through your own vision, if you decide not to go traveling alone?
Are you willing to soften your own voice or even become soundless, if you decide to live up to others’ expectations?
If you decide to take it to the next level — whether this means taking a step back or ahead;
Are you willing to spend your time writing motivation letters, if you decide to find another job? In order to find something better to serve you, in which you can develop yourself in and a working environment where you can feel at ease.
Are you willing to wallow in self pity, sorrow & misery for a period of time and be single again, if you decide to let go of your toxic relationship? In order to come up for yourself by choosing for yourself.
Are you willing to spend your time studying for exams, writing essays and studying for side subjects which do not interest you, if you decide to start a new study? In order to learn more about the major you are interested in and to keep educating yourself in general.
Are you willing to have no social life and having pain in your fingers of all the writing and re-writing of your thesis, if you decide to finish it within your deadline? In order to getting that diploma you are so working hard for.
Are you willing to get lost and having no one to depending on than yourself, if you decide to go traveling alone? In order to seek new adventures, broaden up your perspective & getting knowing yourself better by relying on yourself.
You had always have the ability to do it. It isn’t your ability that stops you from changing anything. It is your willpower. If you have enough will to stay in that situation in which a certain aspect of your life (career, relationship etc) stops you from developing yourself, then darling, don’t tell me you don’t have the will to free yourself, guiding yourself to grow again — even though there are risks and challenges that come with it. Still better than to stay in something in which you know for sure there won’t be any improvement, no matter how much time will pass.
Can you? Of course you can. The question is; are you willing to?
The question isn’t ‘’Can I?’’ — it is ‘’Will I?’’ [42/100]