“25. Holy frikken crap. 25?! When did I get this old. Am I an adult now? Should I know how to do my own laundry? What’s expected of me? Who really knows?” One day you just wake up and realize you arn’t in Kansas anymore and you no longer live in the fairytale world that was your youth. If you lose your shoe at midnight, you’re just drunk. No prince involved here, babe. Time to buck up and learn how to balance your checkbook, cause in a short 5 years, this quarter life crisis you’re having will REALLY not be acceptable.
1. If you don’t have your own health insurance, you better get some.
Come next year (if you are lucky enough to still be on your parents insurance) you’ll be left out in the cruel, harsh, sickness filled world. Having to call your own prescriptions in and make your own doctors appointments. Now that’s some scary stuff.
2. People will start asking you when you’ll finally “Get serious.”
“When will you get a serious boyfriend?” “When are you gonna get married?” “Did yah find a big girl job yet?” “Get your own place yet, Hun?” Never. Ever. Shut up. No.
3. Everyone (And I mean everyone) around you is getting married, buying houses or having babies.
Your best friends, family, and your coworkers are all planning amazing weddings, throwing fabulous baby showers and DIY-ing all over Facebook and there you are, buying Taco Bell at 2:30 am after your 15th martini from T.G.I.Fs with your equally as pathetic friend.
4. You start to have daily panic attacks about where your life is going.
“Is this a joke? I can’t possibly be this lost. I went to college. Shouldn’t I know what I’m doing by now? What have I done all these years? Where has the time gone? I shouldn’t have spent that $3.78 on that latte, I’m broke.”
5. You have regular breakdowns about aging.
“Is that a gray hair? Why has my chin doubled? I have crows feet. Yup this is where it ends. Mom, what kind of night time serum do you recommend?”
6. You finally get joy of having your own bills. And your own debt.
“What do you mean “car insurance policy?” Mom, why did you take me off your phone bill? You are telling me student loans need to be paid…..monthly? Like, every month? I can’t handle this. I’m still too fragile. Too young. RIGHT?
7. The world actually expects you to make grown up decisions.
Go out to the bar and drink until I can’t walk or talk…..or go home and get some sleep cause I have work at 6:00 am and that is the responsible thing to do. SHOTS.
8. You feel the need to validate everything.
“Mom, i can totally do my taxes myself, right? Dad, you can totally drive on a doughnut for more than 500 miles, right? You failed that test too, right? It’s completely fine that I don’t have my shit together at 25, RIGHT?” Please, someone, anyone, agree with me.
9. You loose friends left and right.
As you grow up, people grow apart. I don’t need to be judged for sitting in my bed on a Saturday afternoon, eating Cool Ranch Doritos off my chest and avoiding all texts and pretending I’m asleep while watching Gilmore Girls for the 12th time. It’s just easier to be alone. It’s just better this way.
10. Ask anyone 25 or older and you’ll see…
None of them have anything figured out at all. And we probably won’t for awhile. But hell, we’ve got another 5 years till we are actually adults……right?
So fellow 25 year olds, raise your 11:00am breakdown beers to the fact that none of us have any clue what is going on. Take it a step at a time and just keep on keeping on. Cheers!
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