The 2 Sacrifices I’ve made for Success
(a self reflection)
For me, there are two different kinds of success, Monetary Success and Success from Self Fulfillment. Since the day I turned 18 and graduated High school I’ve made a number of decisions that at this point in my life I see as sacrifices because they have not yet paid off in the terms I expected them to and have been slightly consequential (though everything has a silver lining. I’ll touch on that). Back then I thought these choices would secure monetary success, but right now they all seem to be more on the self fulfillment track. Check them out below. What have you sacrificed for success? Feel free to share with me your thoughts in the comments.
1. Going out of state to college. (not just a couple towns away, but literally 1,000 miles away)
- Why did I do this? I chose to go out of state for a number of reasons: to get away from family, to challenge myself & experience new things, and because that is what I was told I was supposed to do if I wanted to be monetarily successful in the future. (they missed the part about picking the right major, obtaining a support system/mentor, needing money to make money, etc)
- Why is this a sacrifice? Because I put my self in a totally new, at times uncomfortable environment, away from my family (wasn’t around when my dad was recovering from his diabetic coma) and no familiar resources to call to..for 6 years. I could’ve easily thrived in my hometown, but thought I needed to get away to reach my full potential.
- What did I get out of it? I’m SO much more knowledgeable because of it, I’ve made connections I’ve never thought I’d have and I’m much more aware of how our world works.
- Worth it? College made me bitter and hateful for a little while. I constantly felt like an underdog and like no one was willing to see my potential. I was forced to push and pull to get the knowledge I needed without much of anything coming easy. I loved being on my own and I appreciate everything I learned no matter how difficult. I’m an experience seeker. So, yes it was worth it.
- Where would I be without this sacrifice? I would’ve went to the University of Minnesota…I would’ve stayed in my hometown would probably be a lot more monetarily successful because of the contacts and familiarity I already had in that city…but I would’ve probably gotten wrapped up in difficult non-worthwhile relationships…which brings me to my second sacrifice.
2. Minimal Intimate Relationships (I can literally count on one hand how much intimacy and how many real relationships I’ve had in my life. I’m 25)
- Why did I do this? It wasn’t exactly intentional, but my greatest fear was having a baby (while also being broke) while my main focus was on building my career. I also just slowly realized how much dealing with people who wanted me to partake in hook up culture, or who I couldn’t see myself growing with was just a waste of my time and mind space. I also was a witness to so much heartbreak and wasted energy on relationships that were obviously not going to work out…I care too much and did not want to get myself wrapped up in that kind of mess.
- Why is this a sacrifice? Because relationships can be amazing. They’re an avenue for self growth, happiness and tons of amazing experiences…if done with the right person. I lost a lot of this being alone 75% of the time.
- What did I get out of it? This is the tough question. I got a lot of self love and standards out of it. I really know what I want and need, but I’m also not as self aware as I may be if I had someone I trusted to tell me when I’m being an asshole. Friends can do this, but it’s different. I’ve had a tough time establishing real friendships as well.
- Worth it? Yes/No. I don’t have kids and being this free is amazing, but it’s not fun having someone to do fun stuff with at any given moment.
- Where would I be without this sacrifice? Engaged. With a full family. happy. unhappy. alone. Who knows.
two more minor sacrifices:
3. My Chosen Career Path
I care about people, making things look good and making things run as efficiently as they possibly can. I chose a career in design. it’s heavily dominated by people that don’t look like me and don’t have my background. Art is an expensive career for people who already have money and connections. I don’t have any of that so to prepare myself I chose to combine that with what I was good at: Community building. I practiced graphic and interior design by helping non profits. My resume is beefy with community involvement. Now that I’m out of school and ready to make the moola the big corporations tell me I’m too philanthropic and corporate may not be right for me. IS YOU SERIOUS. can’t a lady catch a break? So now I’m constantly revising and fixing my own persona to fit in with the status quo so I can finally make some money, learn from some experienced people and not feel so alone. Almost everything I know about design I taught myself. I should’ve just went to school for marketing or business.
4. Becoming a Minimalist
My lastest lifestyle change. I became a minimalist about a year ago. decluttering my thoughts and things to live a more experience based and organized lifestyle. It’s a sacrifice because it makes me that much more misunderstood and picky to the masses. I know i’m not alone, but life seems to constantly be about finding safe places where I’m able to be happy being me and I’m not even that weird. lol
I’m an intelligent, caring, creative, driven spirit constantly trying to problem solve my own life to finally find that place where I can sit down, sigh, and feel at peace and at home :)
Thanks for reading