Why networking kinda sucks

New City. No friends. Lets go find some.

Dress up. Do hair. Don’t forget about Makeup. Eyebrows have to be on fleek. Heels…or nah? nah. Look up address and event details. I have to PAY to talk to people? AND for parking? There better be good food. Battle traffic. Put on the fake smile and shuffle into the room. Cheese and crackers. again. great. Hey! I spoke to her once, lets awkwardly move closer to the familiar face in order to feel less awkward in the room full of strangers. Woops tripped on air. no one saw. Oh no a stranger is talking to me. let’s see…I have to constantly “check” myself when talking to others. Don’t ask too many questions. People think it’s creepy. Dont be too energetic. It makes people uncomfortable. Don’t let them know you’re a die hard social justice fanatic. They may think you’re closed minded or want to demand reparations from them. Watch the sarcasm. people may misconstrue it as being rude. don’t do this. Don’t do that. Yo. Can our society please leave me alone? I’m awkward enough. I’d rather be all of the above over being a boring prue who stands by waiting or cowering in a corner hoping no one talks to me. Alright it’s been an hour. time to go. Rush home in traffic. Bust through the door. Knock off shoes, bag and pants and plop on the couch with a deep sigh. No new friends yet. Drake was on to something. Looks at phone. 3 More networking events on my calender this week. Maybe being alone isn’t so bad. Maybe i’ll save all the money I spend on parking in a jar for a personal trainer. Or maybe I’ll go stuff my face full of cheez-its, shower and do the same thing again tomorrow.

-Diary of a Post Grad - Freelance Designer