As a white Southern woman I was raised to be leery of those “feelings” that other people talk about. Don’t air the dirty laundry on the front porch, don’t you know? Because of that I tend to act like a hamster on crack when people around me rant, scuttling back and forth and wondering if the world is coming to an end. It took me a long time to understand that people ranting is just as valid as people NOT ranting…that my trying to “calm everyone down” was a way of taking their sense of ownership and power from them, invalidating their feelings. Good intentions only stretched to the point where I was trying to enforce my version of life on other people.
Ranting…grief…anger…these things are real. I love how you’ve written about learning to take pride in your rants. We all need to reinforce the idea that women have the right to both feel emotions and be treated like adults.