Apologies in advance — this is going to be a bit ranty.
Charlotte Franklin

I’m in the same boat, going gray has zero impact on my life-long invisibility (also apple shaped! *fist!bump*)

And yeah, jealousy, sure; I get that, in my heart. But as Alexaine has said, this is less about her hair or even her new-found invisibility (however that manifests) and about her self-perception…and, you know, I got to wondering about WHY that would make you or I ranty. Because at first I wanted to respond in a rant and much more catty way.

Here’s the thing, for me, which I distilled after thinking about this for a long time: she’s voicing her immense unhappiness about becoming what we have spent our whole lives being, and that comes off as condemnation. Like when a thin woman gets fat and proceeds to wail and gnash and cry about it because it is so terribly awful how can anyone live like that???? And I’m just, “uh, by getting up and living every day?” *shrug*

This is all confirmation of what we’ve known all along: that being unattractive is WORST FATE IMAGINABLE and any woman with an ounce of self respect will dye her hair and do anything to lose weight and even get plastic surgery to avoid being the kind of woman I have spent my entire life being, simply because they got old and ceased to be the young woman they were.

I get that the pain of self-change can be confounding and even unforgiving, that getting old strikes us all in different ways. But being gray-haired, being plump, being an older woman who has to fight to be seen…lordy, that’s hardly anything to detest yourself for. Life is bigger than that, which I definitely know from experience.

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