For the record, I spent the majority of my thirties almost 100 lbs overweight, by medical standards…

Well, thanks for being part of the millions of women who think that a criticism about our cultural standards for women is a personal attack.

I stated clearly that I understand about how difficult it is to face changing, which to be clear can be due to aging, injury, illness, pregnancy, etc. etc. If you want to soften the blow by dying your hair, okay, fine, but as you stated it’s not about hair, it’s about change.

My point, which you missed entirely, is that often women (you, me, women in general) fear the changes of aging less because those changes are intrinsically bad than because of the social expectations of “eternal youth” women are supposed to live up to.

I never said you don’t have the right to mourn that loss, or that my pain is greater than yours — that’s pure projection on your part. What I’m saying is that you simply do not understand how your fears play into a game you can never win, something I’ve known my whole life. That doesn’t make me better, that just makes my experiences different. In fact, I’d argue that it makes your experience worse, as you feel you are losing something precious to you.

I’m not personally offended by this discussion; it hit some trigger buttons for me, sure, but personally I thought the bigger issues were more important, which is why I focused on them. I hope more women do.

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