The story of a high school dropout, getting a GED, getting into UC Berkeley, and becoming a senior software engineer at big tech.
This is the first in a series of articles.
How I Became a High School Dropout
When I was a freshman high school student in South Korea, my life was cruelly dictated by a set of standards I had to meet in order to get into a decent college. My day-to-day life involved in eating, studying and maybe sleeping from Monday to Sunday.
Here is how my typical high school day looked like:
- Wake up at 6am to get ready for school
- Get to school by 8am~8:30am
- Morning classes
- Lunch time
- Afternoon classes
- Dinner time (my school provided dinner as well)
- Self-study time at school till 10pm (this session was mandatory for all students in some schools)
- Hagwon (private institute) after
- Go to sleep at 2am
According to InterNations, Students in South Korea spend much of their time, often between 12 to 16 hours per day, at school or at a special after-school academy called a hagwon(see the article).
Despite spending the majority of my time to study, my grades were terrible enough that I was a failure, which meant that I could not get into a good college, might not be able to get a good job and would not be able to buy a house and support myself after becoming an adult.
Korean society had already dictated my future based on my grades.
At the time, there was a popular book about twins who studied abroad and got into Harvard University. I read this book and started to dream of studying abroad. As if I could also get into Harvard University if I tried. I can be honest now and say that I wanted to study abroad to run away from the reality I was facing at home at that time. However, my dream was not exactly feasible as my family was not a part of the uber rich who had the means to send their kids abroad.
But, my desire to run away grew day-by-day and the immature and young version of myself insisted to my parents that I had to study abroad. After multiple days of starving and protesting at home, I got my parents’ approval to drop out of high school. Soon after, I went to Australia to study English. Why Australia? I simply chose this country because studying abroad in Australia was more affordable than studying in other English-speaking countries at the time. Later, I found out my parents were preparing to give up on everything they owned and sacrifice for me if they had to. This is the Korean way, to sacrifice everything for their child’s wellbeing. Looking back at it now, I would have done a couple of things differently, which I will discuss in the following series of Medium posts, but the number one thing is to have a plan. A plan is devised by researching thoroughly and weighting multiple different options. But the most important aspect of coming up with a plan is decisiveness. It is imperative to make the final decision quickly and to not look back once you decide. I apply this ‘data-driven decision making’ to everything I do in my life.
It was a dream-come-true moment when I first landed on my feet in the land of sunshine and opportunities. At the same time, I was ashamed of myself because I had decided to run away from the impossible reality that was my life in Korea.
The Darkest Era of My Life
You might expect an immediate positive outcome from my study abroad adventures in Australia, but as you can guess from the title, it did not go well. Although I did not continue my study abroad adventure in Australia, I was able to leverage that experience to enroll at a high school in a small town in Virginia in the United States (it’s too long to explain why I went to U.S.A. in this article so I will explain it later).
“The land of opportunities”
“The American Dream!”
At first, my high school experience was a full of joy. I had fulfilled a part of my dream, and I wanted to do my best. However, after a couple of months, things did not turn out to be like what I had imagined in the beginning. The high school had only 4 Asian kids — 2 were Asian Americans. One spoke English very well and already had the experience of living in Canada but the other one (me) had a thick Korean accent combined with weird Australian accented English. I felt lonely, and was treated like an outsider. I had to overcome traumatic cultural differences, affecting my overall mental health. At the same time, my English was not good enough to apply for colleges in the states. Moreover, due to my poor English, the school decided to enroll me as a 10th grader even though I should have been a 11th grader, considering my age. To make matters worse, the global economy wasn’t great (sadly, this time aligned with the 2008 mortgage crisis), the currency exchange rate was high so sending money to the states was very expensive, and the overall expenses for studying abroad grew astronomically. My parents who are willing to sacrifice everything told me “everything is okay” but I could sense their concerns and worries over a phone call.
“Will I be able to succeed and bear a better result by studying abroad than studying in South Korea?”
The anxiety of failing surrendered me again as I could not say “yes” to the question above.
In the end, I failed at my study abroad dream in the states after trying for 1 year. I came back to South Korea and started working as a part-timer as a high-school dropout.
When I came back to South Korea, I left my hometown and lived in Seoul (honestly speaking, I left my hometown because I was ashamed of myself and I wanted to start somewhere I knew nobody). I worked at Smoothie King, Cafe Pascucci, a restaurant in Sinsadong Garosu-gil and a restaurant in a department store in Gangnam. You might think “wow, she is working hard to get another shot at her dream!” but, the truth of it was that it was my way of running away from the reality in South Korea and also trying to pay for my own expenses.
I felt like I was a living evidence of how people thought of a high school dropout.
Regardless, I was labelled as a failure in my teenage year and a gossip topic for people who knew me.
Getting A GED and The Reality
One day, something happened in my life that stopped me from running away. I was a part-time waitress at a restaurant and a foreigner came in. Since I had studied English for almost 2 years in Australia and the United States, I confidently handled communications with this customer. My manager was so shocked by my ability to speak English and became nosy about me. I hesitently told him about my journey of studying abroad (people had a certain prejudice against students studying abroad — “they must be smart or from a rich family”). He started to talk about how some of his acquaintances’ children are studying abroad and doing really well, and asked me the following questions.
“Why do you work as a part-timer if you study abroad?”
“Why don’t you go back to study abroad?”
I don’t know why but these questions and his stories did not settle well with me at the time. I’m sure he did not mean to compare me with others or hurt my feeling, but the words came out of his mouth killed me that day.
This is when I decided to face the reality, stop running way, and start again.
The first thing I did was to take a GED. Even if I passed GED, it wasn’t easy for someone who dropped out of a high school and who took the GED to have a meaningful shot of getting into a decent university. The internet was a full of negative examples and stories of GED grads, I didn’t find a single hopeful story to motivate me.
To be clear, no one told someone like me who is not a genius that it’s okay to take an unconventional path that a lot of people consider as a taboo.
The Accomplishments
Though, I thought to myself that I already hit rock bottom and it was only going to get better if I try.
I was dedicated and eventually accomplished the following:
- I got into UC Berkeley
- I found my passion in computer science during my sophomore year (UC Berkeley CS Advisor at the time told me it was impossible to study computer science and I was too late so she told me to give up on studying computer science. I will tell you more about this in a different article)
- I finished a summer internship at FAANG, paid off my last semester’s tuition fee and living expenditure with my own money
- Got a competitive 6-figure job offer to work in San Francisco!
Failing to Get H1B, Getting a Job at FAANG, Becoming a Sr. SWE
Things would have been perfect if my story ended here but a second ordeal happened in my life. I was going to start planning my life in the states but it was not easy to survive the competitiveness and hustle culture in Sillicon Valley as a foreign worker — cultural differences, communication skills, visa obstacles for example. In addition, H1B did not go through 3 time in a row so I was at the verge of being kicked out of the country.
I had to throw away what I had accomplished for years in the states and find a new path again.
Unlike the past, this time, I was not afraid of ‘walking an unconventional path’ and was not worried about ‘how people would think of me’. I focused on finding a new path moving forward.
After working full-time, I studied 2–3 hours every day and finally,
- Got a very competitive job offer from FAANG in Canada
- Went a solo backpacking trip around the world during my mid-20s! (it was my dream for a long time)
- Was able to get promoted twice in about 4 years at a FAANG company
- Applied for 2 patents and got 1 patent thanks to an amazing opportunity
- Bought a first house in the states in my 20s
When I was a high-school dropout, no one told me “It’s okay, you can do it!” and the society was harsh against high-school dropouts and people who got GED. Would my experience have been different if someone told me “It’s okay to be a high school dropout and be different from others.”?
What’s Next
Throughout the series of Medium blog posts, I hope to achieve the followings:
- Change how people think about high-school dropouts and getting a GED
- Give courage and hope to people who are taking different paths than what normal people do
- I hope that some people can relate to my stories
- Finally, I will research and share useful information I gained throughout my journey
To be continued.
