Busy Isn’t a Badge of Honor, It’s Bullshit.
And can we retire the word ‘hustle’ already?
The beauty of surviving what life throws at us is the wisdom we gain through all of our experiences.
At some point in the last few years I had a bit of an epiphany (which, according to Elizabeth Gilbert in a recent article in the Wall Street Journal is an invitation, not an obligation. Love it) that I was pretty much done ‘pissing myself off’ to motivation or pushing myself to ‘gitter done’.
When I was working full time for someone else I prided myself in how much I could accomplish on top of my 50+ hours of work and 10+ hours of commute. I would share my day with people and I often got a “I don’t know how you do it!” and secretly I was thinking “yeah… I’m kind of a rockstar.” I was a young widow with two small children and I had zero empathy for anyone who couldn’t take care of life’s simplest tasks. After all, look at how much I was doing?
It kind of makes me sad for who I was during that time in my life. I don’t tend to have regrets, but a little more compassion for myself and others could have gone a long way.
Fortunately I course corrected.
But not without massive self-doubt and the constant quest of “doing enough”.
Such is the life of an entrepreneur. And as an entrepreneur, I get it.
It’s going to take work. Long days. Crazy highs and crazy lows.
But I can’t buy into the notion that you have to sacrifice living your life at the expense of a dream.
I’ve started unfollowing anyone on social media that is constantly screaming at me to “do the f@#king work!” or writing tributes to their own bravery because they “gave up their cushy corporate gig, sold their possessions and did whatever it took” to make something happen.
For the love of God would you shut your pie hole?!
Share your message, touch the masses… go for it. But when you have to sell me on your sacrifices it kind of negates your message.
Oddly enough the people preaching that mantra tend to be 20 somethings with no mortgage, marriage, children or lives to uproot but their own. Maybe a little judgey on my part… but hey, I’m human. And hear my heart… I wouldn’t trade a minute of my life. The last thing that matters to me now is someone else’s idea of how committed I am to my dreams based on their perceptions of what that’s supposed to look like.
Because remember that point I made in the beginning?
With life experience comes wisdom (including the wisdom to acknowledge how much I really don’t know). And the questions…
The BETTER questions.
You start to ask yourself things like:
- why am I rushing through this?
- why does every minute need to be filled (I let go of this a LONG time ago)
- has anyone actually looked up the definition of the word ‘hustle’? Because really… neither the verb or noun are positive. It’s just that someone decided (probably an entrepreneur) that it sounded good (and no, I don’t blame Gary Vee for this because on top of all his business acumen, he trusts himself and listens to his gut. And I do love me some Gary Vee).
- since when was working through every weekend something to brag about?
- when did self-care become synonymous with lazy?
Doesn’t feel very good, does it?
And here’s where the questions start getting fun… and I highly recommend you do this for yourself and see how you feel afterwards.
Start asking yourself “what if” questions.
- What if it’s supposed to be easy?
- What if I really DO get to choose?
- What if I really CAN have what I want?
- What if taking care of myself brings me MORE business?
- What if napping was really good for my soul?
- What if I stopped asking what everyone else thought?
- What if I decided I really was making the best decisions, each and every day?
- What if I really believed that thoughts become things?
- What if I ONLY made decisions that felt right… like in my gut.
- And again… because this is my new motto….
- What if it’s supposed to be easy?
See my point?
Not only is this fun, it feels lighter. At what point in life did effortlessness negate the outcome?
Meaning, think about the things you’re good at. I mean, really good at. Those things that come easy to you.
Just because they come easy to you doesn’t mean they’re any less valuable because you didn’t “do the effing work”!!! The notion that it’s only through blood, sweat and tears that we gain anything of value?
No one kicked Mozart off the piano bench when he was a little guy because he hadn’t ‘earned’ his talent.
It was innate. It was his gift to the world.
If we’re lucky, we find and nurture our own gifts to the world. You just don’t want to be so busy that you miss them.