What I learned this election
10 life lessons that led to love
Like many of you, I’ve been glued to social media and news outlets since the election. What’s grabbed me, what I see, and what I feel is pain. I see my friends and community suffering.
I see this suffering because I know it well from experience. What I recently learned about suffering is that it does not have to exist. The election has solidified this lesson. As much suffering as I see, I also see people who are open minded, hopeful, motivated, inspired, compassionate, proud and full of love. I am full of love.
These 10 realizations helped me stay away from suffering and get to love:
1. ANGER AND FEAR IS A CHOICE
While the narrative was around poor white people acting out of anger and fear in voting for Trump, it’s now clear that acting out of anger and fear suits every demographic in America.
It may not be a choice to initially feel anger or fear, but it is a choice to continue feeling it. We can choose to spew our anger and fear and infect others or to accept our anger and fear and let it go.
Admittedly, I’m talking about fear from a pretty safe place of privilege as a white straight woman. There are real and justified safety concerns right now, but does this mean we need to live in a perpetual state of anger and fear? Can we feel these emotions and let them go? Can we choose love and take positive action?
2. IT’S DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND ANOTHER PERSON’S EXPERIENCE
I am completely out of touch with the struggles and perspectives of rural America. I know people who live all over the world in 20 different countries and I don’t know a single person who lives in rural America. Wait, does Nashville count? Nope. No it does not. How the hell could I possibly understand the struggles of my fellow Americans in rural areas? I’m not entirely sure how I connect with this group, but I know it starts with the desire to.
3. I’M ELITIST
Yes, I thought I was “better” than the farmer or former coal miner and that my opinion mattered more.
I can and will change these thoughts. I now see the truth that we are ALL equal.
4. NO ONE PERSON’S PAIN IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANOTHER’S, YET EACH PERSON’S PAIN IS MOST IMPORTANT TO THEM
Read this one again. It’s important to internalize. Have compassion for everyone.
5. PEOPLE WHO HAVE DIFFERENT VIEWS CAN BE OUR GREATEST TEACHERS
Let’s stop trying to persuade others. It’s time to be quiet. Listen: not to respond, but to learn.
6. VOTING EVERY FEW YEARS IS NOT ENOUGH TO BE AN ACTIVE PARTICIPANT IN THIS DEMOCRACY
The phone numbers and email addresses of my senators and representatives are saved in my phone. I will be researching and voting in local elections. I will volunteer for campaigns and issues that resonate with me.
7. YOUR INFLUENCE ON YOURSELF IS LARGER THAN YOUR INFLUENCE ON THE SYSTEM
Every day actions matter. They influence this country and the world. Let’s find things we can do every day to make a difference.
8. IF WE THINK IT’S NOT GOING TO BE OK, IT’S NOT. IF WE THINK WE WILL BE STRONGER AFTER WORKING THROUGH THIS, WE WILL.
Worrying about the future doesn’t help. Worry leads to suffering. In this present moment, are you ok? Yes? Ok, let’s stick with that feeling.
Personally, I have a hard time letting go of thoughts about the future; however, I can make the content of these thoughts positive. I choose to believe that a Trump presidency will not be the Trump campaign. If he turns out to be horrible, that probably means Elizabeth Warren will be president in four years and she’ll help us get on track. No matter what happens, it will be ok. It is crucial we believe this now more than ever. Believing we will be ok gives us strength to endure and act.
9. PEOPLE WHO ARE DIFFERENT AREN’T HORRIBLE — SPECIFICALLY NOT EVERY TRUMP SUPPORTER IS A RACIST, SEXIST, INHUMANE ALIEN THINGY
I refuse to believe that nearly 60 million Americans hate the existence of women, Muslims, Black/African Americans, Immigrants, Mexican Americans, and the LGBTQ community. Many people voted for Trump for the same reasons people backed Bernie Sanders. The system wasn’t working for them and they were desperate for a change.
I stopped judging Trump supporters. Now I give them hugs. Try it. Seriously, do it! You’ll both feel better.
10. I AM PROUD TO BE AMERICAN
The day after the election I made a conscious decision not to protest. I went on with life and attended the clothing swap/naked ladies party I organized. (Stay with me here. This’ll make sense in a minute). One of the women gave away an American flag sweater because she was upset about the election. To my surprise, I snagged that sweater immediately. This was totally unlike me. I’ve never been patriotic and I’ve definitely never worn an American flag on any piece of clothing. I’ve always rebelled against this country’s unwarranted narcissistic sense of superiority. I still don’t think America is the best, but, oddly enough, for the first time, I am proud to be American.
I am proud that we are revealing our flaws and that we will address them. I am proud of the inclusive values this country was built on and know that, now more than ever, it is important to embody these values. I am proud now, in anticipation of what this country will be once we heal and unify.
BECAUSE OF THESE LESSONS I AM FULL OF LOVE
I am full of love both because it is the true nature of humanity and because I choose to be love right now. Love feels way better than suffering. Choosing love after the election is what I need, my family needs, my community needs and this country needs.
I. CHOOSE. LOVE.
CHOOSE. LOVE.
What did you learn from this election?