Managing humans is a separate skill from the thing you are already good at.
To manage humans effectively, you will need to develop skills like self-awareness, communication, presence, listening, and emotional intelligence.
It is very easy to do these poorly.
And most of us do at some point, so be easy on yourself as you learn.
People sometimes call these “soft skills,” but I like to think of them as “invisible skills” because you can’t see them — but you see the result of their absence. If there’s a lot of confusion, resentment, low morale, frustration, passive-aggressiveness, and little to no trust, there’s a good chance that there’s an absence of these invisible skills.
Like any skill, you can get better with practice and learn as you go.
Getting Oriented
The Support & Authority Map is a visual model to help organize your thinking about these invisible skills (mindset + skillset).
Remember that it is a map, so it describes where you are, not who you are. Think “I’m in this place right now” rather than “I’m this type of person.”
We all have a place on the map that is most familiar to us, where we feel most comfortable. Especially when we are under pressure or stressed.
We can visit all regions of the map in a single day, depending on the situation and people we’re dealing with.
The places on the map are not “bad” or “good.” They can each be useful, sometimes.
You are not a “bad person” or a “good person” on this map.
Use the map to help you be more effective by being flexible in your thinking and adapting to the humans you work with.
When you have a sense of which place is home base for people you work with, it can help you be a better manager for them, to the benefit of everyone.
This is a human-centered perspective.
I believe that humans who work well together create great work together.
I also believe that humans want to work well together, and want to do great work.
We don’t always know how.
This will help.
Two elements create the map: Support and Authority.
What I mean by Support
Essentially, the power to uplift, assist, or stabilize in a foundational way.
This can show up as caring about the well-being of others, noticing if people get along, or having the ability to tune in to the emotions of others. People who identify as highly sensitive, empathic, or who experience compassion fatigue may feel at home in this element.
Dialing up the amount of Support means considering, “What does this human need to feel more supported?”
You can ask questions like, “What do you need to feel supported right now?” and “How are you doing, as a human?”
Being supportive doesn’t mean you have to talk about emotions.
Some people prefer to keep their inner world private. Being supportive can mean asking about their career goals, and talking about professional development and growth. What’s their big picture, and how can you help?
Showing that you see and respect someone as a whole person is one of the most supportive things you can do.
What I mean by Authority
Essentially, the power to create by declaration.
Look for the word author in authority.
Think of it like how an author creates by declaring — by setting words to paper, they create something into being.
Think of the words we use to declare creation of a marriage, “By the authority vested in me by _______, I now pronounce you. . .”
Or, if you grew up in the 80s like me, you might know this one: “By the Power of Grayskull!”
So in this context, we’re not using Authority like authoritarian, to bully or exert power over someone.
Side note: This is why “authoritarian” easily becomes “BECAUSE I SAID SO” and why it can feel so gross, an unyielding demand. I know the word Authority can be charged and have a very negative meaning for folks. If it’s a word that has been used as a threat of violence, punishment, to diminish or disrespect you, then I invite you to choose another word that works for you. (Take what is useful here, and if something doesn’t help you then feel free to drop it.)
On the Support & Authority Map, we’re looking at Authority like Author: a creative power to clarify, direct, decide, or determine by declaration.
In this light, dialing up the amount of Authority could mean asking, “How can I be more clear and direct?”
It can also mean protecting your team from other demands, standing up for them, advocating for them, or committing to and communicating a clear course of action so people know what to focus on and what is expected.
The Four Locations
Here are descriptions of each location on the map.
Remember, you likely move through all of these locations, depending on the day. Notice which one stands out and feels like your home base.
Again: none of these are bad locations!
The question to ask is: How’s it working out for you?
High Support, Low Authority
High priority on keeping the peace and being friends with everyone; avoiding confrontation and hard decisions; difficulty standing up for team or self.
One example: The manager who says, during 1:1s, that you’re doing a great job. But in your annual performance review they tell you all these ways you’ve been falling short of their expectations. Why didn’t they say something earlier? Because they were so uncomfortable with giving feedback, it feels confrontational to them, and so they avoided it.
This could also be the person who sugar coats everything. They cover up feedback with so much other language, it’s hard to hear the message of what needs to change.
Low Support, Low Authority
Distant, distracted, disengaged, avoidant; over extended or unavailable; no guidance or mentoring.
This can be offered as trust or tossing you in the deep end. As in, “Hey, I trust you to figure this out.” And you say, “Uh, cool, could I have some guidance here?” “Nope! Too busy. You’ve got this. See you later.”
Low Support, High Authority
High priority on the work and forgets about the humans doing the work; controlling or inflexible; micromanaging can show up here.
Most people I talk to dislike being micromanaged. And yet, it’s incredibly common.
Sometimes this is useful — I’m thinking of situations like emergency medical aid, diffusing a bomb, legal compliance issues, or decorating a cake. There are instances when things must happen in a specific way.
More often, it gets in the way of people doing great work.
Sometimes students will tell me, “I don’t really care about people’s personal lives or their feelings! I just want them to do their work.”
And that’s totally fine.
My question is: How’s that working for you?
There might be a more effective way to manage people, so they work better together and you sleep better at night knowing the work is getting done, and done well.
High Support, High Authority
Clear, kind, and direct with others; skillful in giving direction and corrective feedback; effectively advocates for team and self; tends to build trust.
This is what most of us have to learn.
Those who are higher on the Support side learn to be more direct and clear.
Those who are at home on the Authority side learn to be more supportive of people, to connect with them so they feel like you’ve got their back.
You don’t need to be brutally honest or sugar-coat things.
Be direct, clear, and kind instead.
It takes some practice, but try it out and see for yourself.
A Story About Using the Map
My home-based is High Support, Low Authority. I care a lot about harmony and making sure people feel welcomed.
I worked with someone whose home base was Low Support, High Authority. They really didn’t care about how people felt, or if people were getting along. They valued clarity and doing the work in the way they thought was best.
Can you imagine how easy it was for us to create interpersonal friction at work?
It was so easy.
Mutual irritation. Not a lot of trust.
And then one day I realized: Oh, they just don’t value harmony with others like I do!
And it was ok.
Instead of trying to offer them more Support, I could respond instead with more Authority — the clarity and directness that they wanted and valued. I could still do it from a kind place, but I didn’t need to ask them about how they were feeling. I also stopped taking it personally that they didn’t seem interested in connecting with me in a harmonious way. Instead, I could focus on clarity, behaviors, timelines, commitments, and the like.
When I changed my mindset and how I communicated with them, the way they responded changed, too.
Tension eased.
We worked better together.
Another Story About Using the Map
I knew a guy who was successful in his career, then plateaued. He was passed up for a promotion he thought he was ready for, and this confused him because his team met all their goals, their productivity and delivery was good.
He went to his mentor to talk about it.
His mentor said, “Sure, you get the work done. But you burn bridges along the way. No one likes working with you. If you’re going to be a leader, you need to figure out how to work with people.”
It was a shock. He thought only the results mattered.
He didn’t realize that managing people well was part of the results, too.
You and the Map
When we are under stress or pressure, we tend to favor one of these regions because it’s familiar.
Think of it like muscle memory for your relationships. You’ve done it so often, and with enough success, that it feels natural to you.
This is not about being a good person or a bad person.
It’s about being a human person, and it’s about mindset and skillset. We all learned different rules about how to relate with others, and we developed skills for those different rulesets.
How’s that working for you?
The goal isn’t to get everyone into High Support, High Authority all day long.
The goal is to see more clearly, to get a perspective that might be very useful.
The Support & Authority Map is one way to organize how you think about skills, relationships, and patterns of behavior with people at work.
What I like about this framework is the simplicity and adaptability it offers. It invites questions like:
What would it look like in this situation to offer more authority?
What would it look like with this one person to offer more support?
What are your habits?
What might you try that’s different?
What skills might you develop next?
A good question has the power to change everything.
Listen to my podcast, The New Manager Podcast, for more of my thoughts on human-centered leadership and management skills.
Learn about workshops, programs, and coaching on my website.
