The Love Of A Project
(This post was originally on CanadianBusinessChicks.com)
You catch yourself staring at the computer screen. “This is it”, you think to yourself. Everything feels right. Unlike anything you have done previously. It’s as if every project started, not fully started, failed to ignite, and the ones that should have ended long before but were given extra attention in hopes of reviving its flatline status, they all lead you to this moment. This one feels different; It’s exciting, overwhelming, and scary, because it has the potential to be so much bigger.
Every free moment it consumes you. The thought bubbles and plans. Your desk now surrounded with post-it notes of lists, and ideas, and people to contact. You can feel the momentum of it building. Then things start to happen.
It’s exciting, it’s difficult, and it still feels so rewarding. The weeks become months, and you know those months will become years. There are fun moments and ones that you hold with special and personal pride. Somehow this idea became part of the definition of who you are, and you would never think about quitting. Until that day.
Gradually things no longer feel as easy as they did at the beginning. The thrill wanes. You question if this is what you want your personal definition to be. Maybe you should quit. Maybe it’s just like all the other projects before, and it just took you longer to figure out. You start playing the “what-if” game. What if you quit? What if you took a regular job? What if you just did something completely new? And as much as some of these what-ifs feel appealing, they still don’t feel right. Then the terrible next question, “what if I’m stuck?”
And in your heart, you know you really aren’t. You have options. You are choosing to weather this storm and do whatever it takes, even if right now that is taking it one day at a time. Each day is just that. You decide to drop some commitments, some clients, some courses. You give yourself some forgiveness, some personal time, some new friendships. Ideas start to blossom, your creativity becomes re-ignited, and the days that were just passing before begin to feel joyful, feel exciting, feel pleasing. You almost feel ashamed for thinking that you were willing to quit one day. However, it’s only because of that thought you took a long look at the parts that weren’t working. It was never the whole thing. In those new friendships and that much needed personal time you found new ideas and stayed committed to what you built, and what you love. This was your personal journey, but it was the connections you made that helped keep you on the path. On your own you believe you certainly would have quit, but in that dark storm, when you said what you were thinking, someone else said, “me, too”.
You realize what felt like difficult days somehow passed and the over the weeks new love started to emerge. Not the same as when you started, but deeper, stronger, more fulfilled. You stayed committed and through that you grew so much more.
Other posts by Kim Orlesky:
Kim Orlesky is an International Speaker, Author, and Executive Life Coach inspiring daily joy. She was named one of Success Magazine’s Most Inspirational Bloggers of 2015 and is featured in their January 2016 issue. She is a world traveler, one-time marathoner, adventurer, poor golfer, inconsistent yogi and puppy parent to her Weimaraner.
Her book Finding (My)Self (Love): One Girl’s Journey of 17 Countries Across 4 Continents in 6 Months is available now in ebook or paperback. Her second book, How To Be A Nomad is expected to be released in March 2016.
Originally published at kimorlesky.com on January 4, 2016.