2016 was a hell of a year. I learned a lot actually. It felt more like a shedding of things that just will not do me service in the years ahead. I don’t do resolutions ever. There are some lessons though, I will carry into the new year and beyond. So here are my 2017…non negotiables.
- I’m selfish in the nicest way possible. Adhering to opinions from others hindered me from just following my instincts and standing by them. If I make a choice, then I make a choice. I must face the consequences and rewards just the same. So I will.
- No more explaining whiteness to white people (or really anyone). If you missed the past 400 years of American history and the past 600 years of world history, that’s not my problem. I’m not teaching you or any of your safety pin wearing friends. If I’m agitated by something you, “well meaning white person”, said, then just accept that and kick rocks. Go study on your own time. It will make you a better person. For those in the back…
It should go without saying that left-liberal identity politics and alt-right white nationalism are not comparable. The problem is that they are compatible. — Shuja Haider, JacobinMag
3. HIIT and yoga are my workout regimen. I started 2016 strong, then I moved and I fell off. These two things combined were the perfect cardio and core mix. Plus yoga is so relaxing.
4. Say what I think or feel. In new environments, or even professionally, there are times I shrink. As a black woman, my experience when I speak up for myself or others, it is typically not well received by majority culture. But related to what I previously stated, I’m not shrinking for majority culture. I am intelligent, intuitive, and damn good at what I do. In 2017 some folks will soon learn.
5. Open to love not based on control. I am the controller in the equation. Listen, I am not controlling in the sense of GPS tracking my man’s phone. I am a fixer though. I think people are my clay. I can see what I want them to be so I chip away and mold them into what I see. In 2016, I realized people in fact are not my clay; don’t like the misshaped mug I got it, just return it or accept that mug for what it is. If he has the values and beliefs I desire, even if he is a little misshaped, love him anyhow. Not my job to mold him into perfect shape. Focus on my values and beliefs in the relationship.
6. Spend more time where I’m celebrated. I kinda made my own “eat pray love” year starting in September. This has been a huge takeaway. I have spent some quality time with people in my life that celebrate me. Just for me. I moved away from 98% of those people to gain focus. I have gained that along with wanting to be around positivity. It feels good after being around a lot of negative space.
7. I embody strength and fortitude. Sounds better than “be aggressive”. Professionally and personally I bent my backbone a little too much last year. I had to put my foot down. Enough is enough. I’m learning how to do this with tact.
8. Diligence over my finances. Typically this is an area of strength for me. First person in my friend group and family to automate almost every bill. On the horizon, there will be some significant financial changes. I want to put myself in a position so when those changes come, there will be no shock to my mini-economy.
9. Practice mindfulness everyday. Meditation has become increasingly important in my life. It has literally changed my everyday experience. I “see” what I couldn’t see before. Like my third eye or whatever. Therefore, this will continue as I pursue #1–8 because I will need it.
