For years, I’ve been wanting to write a book or a blog on my life. Since I was a little girl, I wanted to be a writer. I definitely have a colorful, complicated life (as we all do) that I genuinely do my best to learn valuable lessons from, & maintain a sense of humor throughout it all.
I happily checked myself into a treatment facility in September 2016 for alcohol & substance abuse issues. I just had my 30th birthday and am nearly 8 months clean & sober for the first time in 15 years, 4 months smoke free, living in a transitional housing downtown in a major city (which is two blocks away from Sephora… dreams do come true…), and I’ve never been happier in my entire life.
Some people I know would frown upon this & pass judgement. “They” typically have cars, houses, spouses, children, horrible sex drives & cliche social media accounts. I have friends who get stressed about approaching mid-20s, & 30s. (Really guys?! Camman.)
These requirements & expectations have had ZERO appeal to me, and I’ve hardly been stressed about achieving them. I’m perfectly content with what I have & where I’m at right now, managing on Social Assistance with $210 to carry me into the next month.
Due to being diagnosed with depression, anxiety & trichotillomania (compulsive hair pulling) at the age of 11… I’ve been predispositioned to develop an issue & reliance on such things. This wasn’t difficult due to my upbringing & observing how my parents “dealt” with their own issues. Running away and/or drinking them away. After 15 years of trying to figure out effective coping strategies for the hurtles that life dished out, I realized that alcohol & drugs certainly weren’t making anything easier for me & it was time to make a change.
Losing jobs, ruining friendships & my reputation wasn’t cute anymore. Strange that no guy ever wanted to check my baggage!
The friends I made in treatment are the best friends I’ve ever had in my entire life. Our bond & innappropriate sense of humor is priceless, and it’s hard to believe that my life has the meaning that I’ve been crying for in isolation for all these years.
My skin rocks, my outfits make sense & I can actually smile at myself when I look in the mirror. I am actually able to set boundaries with family, friends, individuals & men… not to change my mind by the next night, drunk phone calling thinking that was going to make everything all better. Who knew it wouldn’t?!
I have a lot to share, and thank you for taking the time to read!
Have a good weekend kids; make good choices!