Note to self: Don’t be afraid to start

Here goes that familiar little voice; echoing in and out of my head as I attempt to begin this piece of writing. Each of us are acquainted with it. Some of us give it the consideration of a friend, and others have amplified another voice to drown out the noise of the one. It’s like a verbal wrestling match. Whenever I attempt to start something new — such as publishing my first piece of writing on a platform as large as Medium — there’s always a war of words between two voices in my head: the familiar little voice telling me that this is all too new, that it has to be absolutely perfect or else I’ve failed, versus the courageous little voice, which dares to believe that starting, no matter how bad or how well, is what’s most important.

I think it’s relevant enough to write a whole piece about. It’s the beginning of a new year, and I don’t know if resolutions are still a thing, but I’m sure that in one way or another, we are all committed to doing something worthwhile to improve some aspect of our lives. I’ll use myself as an example here (because why not?), I’ve been working to transition my career — which has largely seen me influence the Education space in person — to an online business comprising of multiple creative outlets. This has obviously taken time, challenged me to start applying for new positions and creating content on new platforms, which has all brought me in confrontation with my fear of starting.

You are reading this, so it’s fair to say that I am responding well to that fear, so far, but it’s not always as simple as just getting over it or forcing oneself to start. In fact, that is a valuable piece of advice (sometimes you should abandon all safety impulses and just start) but I think we’re all better placed understanding first the reason for our fear of starting, before responding to it, as that equips us well for our future confrontations with this common enemy.

So, why the fear of starting?

It’s amazing, and worth noting, that this challenge is not simply unique to a few random people. That even the most competent people in the world at what they do still experience the fear of starting. Robert Pattinson — who, just last year, played a huge role for anyone’s acting career in The Batman — struggled with anxiety before auditioning for new roles. Warren Buffett used to be terrified of speaking in public. Kendra Scott feared rejection, and these are only a few successful names who wrestled with fear before they started.

This also reveals an answer to the question: our fear of starting is usually tied to a conclusive view we hold of ourselves, the thing we are delaying starting or others. Pattinson and Buffett, for instance, may have both held on to the conclusive view that if they tried to perform and speak respectively, then they would get it horribly wrong. That’s a realistic view of life (they could get it wrong) but what makes it conclusive is that it could completely harm their chances of acting or speaking again; that they wouldn’t learn anything at all and so starting the task is useless — both of which are lies capable of holding back anyone who believes them.

In addition to this, our fear of starting can be inspired by the newness of the thing we’re about to do. While most new endeavors can be very exciting, the truth we often leave out is that they are also overwhelming, because they demand that we leave a familiar aspect of our lives and dive head-first into unfamiliarity…and that can’t be comfortable.

Unfamiliarity is uncomfortable

I have learned, however, that the great things I want for my career, my relationship, my physical health or any other area of my life, are unfamiliar (even though I have desired them for so long it feels like they aren’t) and unfamiliarity is uncomfortable, but if I start doing the unfamiliar things and stay in them long enough, then these things become familiar, and what was once uncomfortable becomes easier to navigate.

I think each of us can relate to this in one way or another, and as 2023 begins, we have desires to start doing something creative in our line of work; significant for our personal lives or necessary for our physical and spiritual bodies. But, our fear to start may be masquerading as logical reasons why we shouldn’t even try, so this is a beginning-of-year note to self and others: don’t be afraid to start.

In conclusion, consider a thought shared by digital creator Dan Koe on his Twitter account:

Self development is about solving your own problems.

Business is about solving other people’s problems.

Your purpose is about solving a big problem in the world.

The internet lets you do all at once.

Wherever you’re at with this, I wish you a courageous start.