I am not fat because you have failed to point out to me that I am fat.

photo credit: some dumbass

I am fat because I have a bad relationship with food, that I am working on. I lost 50 pounds over the past year. And I am currently seeking the assistance of a therapist to keep this train running, if you must know.

Now I am going to proceed to pick this image with text on it apart:

1. ‘Stop normalizing obesity’ Next time a major scripted TV show or Movie casts more overweight people than guys that dehydrate themselves to enhance their muscle definition, I’ll believe that obesity is being normalized. Either way, keep your normal. I don’t want it. Fuck normal.
2. ‘Body acceptance is one thing’ You don’t have to accept my body. Say whatever you want. But don’t trick yourself into thinking you are doing anyone a favor by pointing out people’s flaws to feel better about yourself or establish status over them. Even if you convince yourself that you are helping. You are probably not. You are more likely damaging someone’s confidence and self-worth. Unless you are a professional (not just ‘in good shape’), you are also providing uninformed or contradictory information.
3. ‘glorifying unhealthy lifestyles’ This one is a challenge, because it is so ambiguous. I will say I have never in my life seen a piece of media that has inspired me to want to be overweight. Businesses that sell food are very successful at convincing me to indulge my addiction. But I don’t think this text-image was directed at What-a-burger. If you believe that we should not celebrate the good or beauty in people just because they are overweight, then you are wrong. Just plain wrong.

We all have our flaws. I have to wear mine around on the outside. But I’m okay with that. I am confident with who I am as a person. I know I provide value to this world and the people around me. And because of that I know that I am going to continue to get healthier and not be defined by my flaws.

But there are people who struggle with obesity or any number of inner demons, that don’t have this confidence. So instead of ‘trying to help’ by pointing out the flaws that they are aware of, actually help, by ensuring they are aware of their own strengths and value.

For the record, I don’t really get fat-shamed or guilted. I thank the awesome people in my life and confidence, for this. But I’m not going to sit idly by while people who struggle with confidence are harmed by the rhetoric of the larger conversation, well intentioned or otherwise.

King Adan