Seeing the Stars
There is a buzzing noise coming from under me. I feel a vibration a second later and realize I'm sitting on my phone. As I look at the screen, my face naturally morphs into a frown. I press the ignore button. It's Life calling me again and I find myself way too busy for it.
There's treasure to be had in solitude. Away from the varied components of reality, I can take my mind and body, roll it up into a ball, and hibernate on the sustenance of imagination. I've struck gold in those moments. It is a pleasure unlike any other that I derive from escaping the usual, the mundane. Does that place me in the category of fools or dreamer? Surely, I take full responsibility for all of my titles.
I’m lying on the bed, the urge to shut myself off from the world is burning a giant hole through my consciousness. What is this ugly guilt I sensed? Does not a dreamer deserve those precious bits of time to formulate and fabricate the foundations of those dreams? Negative answers - no, no, no - ring out like hordes of trumpets from those around you. Family, friends, careers, lovers, and enemies need your attention and your presence. They want to pillage from you all of the hidden joys you crave. It is not their fault they do this, just like it is not our fault that we have these cravings. The world is rich with the reversal of circumstances, so just know that you are a pillager and they have those secret desires, too. This circular mind-fuck of never achieving peace and never letting others achieve the same is utterly frustrating.
I shut off my phone, turn off my TV, close my laptop, turn out the lights, and close my eyelids. All has gone dark in the world. I bring a knuckle to my eye, looking to rub away an itch. The second my knuckle hits the lid, I see pretty colors. It intrigues me, so I push the knuckle slightly harder against the eyeball. Suddenly, behind those closed lids, there is an explosion of rainbows. I'd never noticed I could do this before, and I was laying there in awe. Gone were the idiots of the news media, gone were the perils of my dating life, gone were the struggles of my bank account, and gone were the thoughts of failure which hung over my head since adulthood. For five whole minutes, stuck in a euphoric state, the stars in my eyes were more magnificent that any celestial bodies in the sky. Then, a loud knock at my door.
I tried to ignore it, but the incessant pounding was simply too much. My concentration was broken and my euphoria had dissipated. I got up to answer the door. It was Life, with all of its dramas and a heavy sack of burdens. It took every ounce of restraint in my body to not grab a knife and cut this fool. But I don’t. Instead, I just say that I’m way too busy right now. As usual, it ignores me and walks right in.