American Smalltalk

Conversation in a bar in Reykjavík between two locals and a clueless tourist:

It’s electronic.

Huh?

The cigarette.

Oh.

Hey, is this a happening place to be?

What?

Well my son told me this is a cool bar, is it a cool bar?

Sure, this is a place to be.

We went to Koffin Bar last night. Apparently I offended to bartender, which I don’t know I was being rude until after I was. How was I supposed to know?

[blank stare]

So, what bars do the assholes go to? Like American Bar?

Yeah, sure, American Bar.

So this isn’t a place where those types are?

Umm, not really? I don’t know. [you’re here.]

You guys from here?

Yes.

No. I’m from Chicago.

Chicago? You don’t sound like your from there.

Ok.

Do you miss home?

I don’t miss my home, my home is here.

How old are you?

Huh? Why are you asking me how old I am?

Did you watch the Chicago Bulls?

Yes, I love the Chicago Bulls.

Steph Curry is a good player, he’s doing things the right way.

Uh, sure. Steph is great. The Warriors are a great team.

LeBron (inaudible). When he played in Miami we loved it.

[silence]

You guys go to Miami?

No.

Hell no.

What? It’s a great place.

Ok, man, here’s the thing, you’re talking about shit I have no interest in talking about. Would you mind not talking to me?

Oh, I’m sorry I pissed you off.

You didn’t piss me off, I just don’t know you or care to know you.

I’m sorry I made you angry man.

No, I’m not angry, I just don’t have time for you. I’m here listening to music with my friends. You’re talking about stuff that I am not interested in talking about with you.

I didn’t know I couldn’t sit here.

I didn’t say that, only that you need to stop talking to me.

Well..

Stop man, just stop talking to us.

End.