5 Steps You Can Take To End A Relationship Standoff At Work Or At Home

Whose move is it?

So many people are in a stand-off kind of relationship. A stand-off kind of relationship is one where someone has been offended and is waiting for the offender to make the first move to remedy the situation.

Have you ever been in this position?

If you haven’t then one day you will. You will either be the offended or the offender.

I have been in both position and it is a very awkward place to be.

You can feel the tension whenever you are in the presence of that person. Your blood is “boiling.” You are seething.

Actually, you’ll do everything to not be in the same space with them. You cross the street so that you won’t walk past them.

This is very challenging when you work with them and more so if you live with them. You feel trapped. You can’t get away from them.

So what do you do when this happens?

Do you wait it out?

That is what many are doing.

May I ask, how long are you prepared to do so?

Some people will say “as long as it takes.”

Others, “until they take responsibility and apologize.”

Okay, I get it. So how’s that working out?

In other words you are willing to have this thing eat away at you, keep you in a heightened state of anxiety, raise your cortisol level — stress, and even lose sleep over it.

Sounds like a good idea to me.

Not really.

So what can you do if you are the offended party?

  1. Move towards the offender if you know that physical harm won’t be the result.
  2. Take someone with you or do so in a public setting.
  3. Let them know what you are feeling without being confrontational. You’re simply sharing information.
  4. Tell them what you would like them to do about it.
  5. Exit

What if you are the offender?

  1. Stop justifying yourself in thinking that they deserve it or they “made” you do what you did.
  2. Take responsibility for what you did; your portion of the conflict
  3. Apologize and request forgiveness for your action
  4. Exit.

These suggestions are not easily done. I know it from both sides of the spectrum. However, if you want to change the “atmosphere” around you when it comes to the person you have an issue with, this must be done.

Knowing how to frame your words is very important. Speaking to someone who you know have some expertise in conflict resolution ahead of time, would be helpful.

Having coached so many people who have found themselves in situations like these, I have a few key communication techniques that are very helpful. If you find yourself in this situation and need my help, connect with me through a DM on Facebook or through my website at:www.kingsleygrant.com.

Ending the standoff is the mature and healthy thing to do.