Too Weird to Live, to Rare to die

People always love a good story, so here’s mine. I should be dead. How many people you know and with a one eyed goofy grin, survive an Improvised Explosive Device to the face? Well if you know me, than you know one. Now before you get all teary eyed, their is no crying in my Marine Corps, with my best/worst froggy voice. That’s jokes, think of me as more a private Joker, than an R Lee Emery type.

I figure I’ll give you a brief intro to who I am and what my focus is. Starting with, I was sarcastic coming out the womb. My comedy is my art, and it’s happening all the time. It’s just who I am, so for you newbs, don’t take me to seriously. I suffer from word vomit and dementia, and I also have split personality, his name is Mexijew. I’ll tell you more about that later.

I was born in Toms River, NJ and lived in Seaside Heights, NJ. I was Jersey shore before Jersey Shore was a twinkle in MTV’s dirty eye, and that’s irony. I should be the star of a trash reality TV show and those fake Italians, they got all my fame. But there is a moral here, cause Seaside is referred to as Sleaseside, and trust me as much as it pains me, it’s lived to that nickname for multitude of reasons.

But I always, hope for my hometown to be as I saw it as a child, with infinite possibility. Not the place a bunch of meatheads get drunk and show the worst aspects of civilized society, the angry drunk on camera, is only funny on TV, safely from your couch. So perception matters, because I have since moved outta NJ, but whenever I go, I get a little reminder to never forget where I came from.

Putting it politely, the abuse in a broken home and watching the drug epidemic in NJ rise. Matured me fast as a kid, I was always the oddball, fashionably late, with a tad too much angsty angst. So in Highschool I created this character of Mexijew. My favorite movie of all time is Fight Club, and that’s basically my Tyler Durden. Mexi gives no fucks, and how this dude morphed into the world, was one day at the lunch table, we were kids talking about different Races and nationalities. A legit African American Ginger, or with Jew curls.

I bring this up, because this was kids dickin around, and not hurting anyone. I blurted out Mexican Jew, and that became my nickname, cause nobody could remember my real name, and the name was damned catchy, most people call me Mexi or Mex, and any variant is fine, I also respond to hey fuck stick…

I think that’s important to stress, that Political Correctness is being over critical. I don’t like Trump but even I call Liberals cry babies and It makes me so angry I have to smoke pot to forget, I hate both the Enemy of my Enemy, and my Enemies of my Enemies don’t get a fair shake in the debates cause Democrats and Republicans are scared bitches.

So where was I, I joined the Marines right outta High School. Happy I went, cause you know so many people are so against Military, hardcore Buddist I suppose, but really like, “I rather be homeless, than ever serve…” I deal with the type all the time. Listen, I survived for some damn reason. I got a God to defy I suppose. I do believe in God, but it’s very complicated. My stance on Religion is If you worship a door knob and it brings your happiness, who am I to take that away from you. Let your freak flag wave, cause my God is Poly and Transgender.

So I wasn’t old enough to vote in 2000, I know, bummer I could of stopped Florida from throwing out the Black Vote, if only I voted. But yea George Dubya Bush was a worthless, imbecile of a Commander and Theif, yet someone Trump makes him look tolerable, but I digress. I joined the Marines in 2003, so I was there fresh for OIF II and Fallujah Iraq, most vets know, exactly what that means, for you civilians, I was basically a Grunt on the ground, when shit was pretty bad, small arms fire and RPG’s not Roadside bombs yet…

But like I said, I think it was important I saw this world. The one I knew our media lied to us about, when it came to the Muslims. As it turns out, not bad people, infact I am more afraid of Americans than any other Muslim country. Cause the truth is, and this pains me to say it, and know it’s true. We’re the terrorists, not the Middle East. There is a reason people need to be reminded be critical of the President but support the troops. They like to send us to war, for their gain.

So all the hip kids nowadays, call themselves “woke” so for me, 2003–2004 was my Ultimate woke moments, along with the 2000–2004 elections. I researched 9/11 and my conclusion is simple, they knew the attack was coming and simply allowed it to happen, that’s how to justify war and The Patriot Act. History is my source, Pearl Harbor being one event, The Gulf of Tonkin Bay incident being another. Americans clearly against the wars, and events justifying the adverse effects of faux patriotism.

The WMD’s were a lie, and this is important to note. The Mainstream Media helped peddle that lie, and we all bought it. Politicians like Hillary supported the war on Iraq. I expect more from my Commander and Chief I really do. War should be a necessity, not a pre-emptive OIL, and a Military Imperialists Wet Dream. I used to get called a conspiracy theorist, because I knew Iraq wasn’t just about oil, it was about weapons contracts, and military outposts. We have over 700 military bases around the world. We really like our weapons and bravado, Trump will be the best Cheerleader of faux Patriotism, this planet has ever seen.

I am seriously considering running for office as an Independent. I’ve also been working on direction of my Podcast. Think Tank Renegades on soundcloud. I want to be a platform for my friends and especially my Activist and Candidate, knowing that 90% of the media is controlled by 6 corporations. So they can get their policy out there.

Also gonna start writing articles for our website and can follow me on Chris Wood, if you would like to be involved, share articles on our FB page, write articles for us. Let me know. My main focus at the moment is promoting candidates. I believe Getting Money outta Politics and supporting Candidates that agree is our main mission until 2020.

I just wanna hear those three little words… Agitate, Educate, Organize. Can start today, by Stop Entertaining and Start Investigating.

Like what you read? Give Chris Wood a round of applause.

From a quick cheer to a standing ovation, clap to show how much you enjoyed this story.